


Alternation

by sinkie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Smoking, Swearing, but they are minor (mostly), childhood friends banglix, lix is of legal age here dw, lots of quarrels, roommates minchan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinkie/pseuds/sinkie
Summary: "I'm tired. You're hot, then you're cold, make up your mind already!""Oh, at least you're stably hysterical!"orJumping into a relationship too fast may have been a mistake, as neither Minho nor Felix were ready for it.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 19
Kudos: 66





	1. weird relations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my wonderful friend!!!! she ranted about math in our groupchat, so i got material for this chapter, and she also proofread those bits  
> she's the best ❤
> 
> btw i portrayed Minho and Felix recalling how they looked like during the survival show, and Chan looks somewhat like in district 9 mv??  
> so basically everyone is dark-haired and young sjksksks  
> and i didn't change the real gaps between their ages

Felix threw the door to Chan’s apartment open without knocking and ran towards the bedroom as fast as he could, falling on the bed and starting to cry.

"Hi to you, too," Chan said, turning around on his chair to look at his friend, "How did you get in by the way?" Chan furrowed his eyebrows.

"The door wasn't locked," Felix's voice was muffled as he was face down on the bed.

"Ugh, Minho," Chan mumbled, feeling tired of his roommate's abstraction, but that wasn't the main problem now. He had a little sniffling mess to deal with. "Lixie, what happened?"

Felix shifted to lie down on his back, so he could answer distinctly, "It’s just…just school. It’s stupid," his voice wavered.

"You’ll feel better if you talk this out," Chan said, tilting his head.

"Are you sure you wanna hear me rant about math?" Felix looked Chan in the eyes, switching into a sitting position.

"Yeah, I totally do," Chan looked interested, so Felix started.

“Okay, so…you know that I pretty much hate math more than anything in this world, right?” Chan nodded, a small smile on his face, so Felix continued, “I thought that even being completely not tech inclined I’d still be able to ace this class, like it happened with some other subjects I used to dislike,” Felix raised his eyebrows comically, his eyes still watery, “But no! I just can’t! That’s too complicated for my poor mind,” he gestured dramatically, “Even though I know I need it, I just can’t understand how to solve those absolutely disgusting problems.”

Chan was looking at the younger pityingly, but he couldn’t help feeling amused because of how cute Felix was while ranting, “What problems exactly?” Chan asked, knowing that Felix wasn’t done talking.

“I really hate those ones where they ask you to use your mathematical intuition. The fuck is that?” Felix winced, “I don’t have a…a regular…intuition, I even more so don’t have a mathematical one.” Chan chuckled at that, but Felix was too immersed in his speech to notice, “Or we can take parameters.”

“Let’s take parameters,” Chan crossed his arms.

“Not gonna lie, there are some pretty easy ones,” Felix nodded to himself.

“For sure,” Chan giggled.

“But sometimes you gotta plot thousands of graphs, which is so fucking time-consuming, just to stare at them, trying to analyze something, but you just can’t!” Felix exclaimed, “At one point you may think you finally got it right and you know what to do, and you know what, hyung?” He asked looking at Chan, exhaustion and annoyance evident in his eyes.

“What, Felix?” Chan’s gaze was filled with fondness.

“You have that equation of the tangent and you think ‘wha-at, which tangent?’ Where?” Felix furrowed, “Then there’s a square root, a module…you’re looking at that cubic parabola, hoping to find out what the fuck would happen to it if it shifts a millimeter to the side.” Felix exhaled, lowering his head and tousling his hair, “Hyung,” Felix suddenly called for Chan.

“Yeah?” Chan answered, smiling.

“I’m tired…” Felix said, biting his lip. He raised his head to look at Chan. Felix’s eyes started to fill with tears again, “I don’t wanna do this, I wanna evaporate myself out of this existence.”

“Wha-at? You better not,” Chan giggled, but when he saw some new tears fall down from Felix’s eyes, he stood up from his chair and approached the younger, “C’mere,” Chan sat next to Felix and opened his arms, as if inviting the boy to hug Chan.

Felix hesitated for a moment, pursing his lips, but then wrapped his arms tightly around the older, “I-" Felix couldn't finish, beacuse Minho came into the bedroom.

"Ah, it's you again. Do you ever stop crying?" Minho asked teasingly, leaving the bedroom as fast as he entered it.

"Minho!" Chan warned him, "Why didn’t you lock the door again?” He had to shout this time for Minho to hear him.

“I didn’t?” He returned to the bedroom, scratching his head, “But nobody stole you,” Minho smiled innocently and Chan gave him a disapproving look, while caressing Felix’s back.

Minho glimpsed at Felix, who was sniffling from time to time, “Hey, Lix, don’t beat yourself up. You’ll memorize the Pythagorean theorem one day,” Minho said, smiling mockingly, so Chan threw a pillow at him.

“Ouch! What? Just a joke,” Minho lifted up the pillow and leaned on the wall.

“Leave,” Chan shook his head.

“You hate me because I know the multiplication table better than you?” Chan grabbed his slipper, ready to throw it at Minho again, but the latter ran away.

“Why is he like that?” Felix asked, his voice raspy from crying.

“He has no conscience,” Chan looked at the younger and wiped away Felix's tears with his thumb, “Why don’t you talk to your mum about it?” Felix shifted, so now he was sitting in front of Chan awkwardly.

“You know how she is…she wouldn’t let me do what I want,” Felix’s expression fell, his eyebags becoming more prominent.

“But you never asked. You should wait for the right moment to do that,” Chan suggested, but Felix started shaking his head in disagreement, “Hey-y, don’t give up so easily. Where’s your cheery self, huh?” Chan's tone was supportive and caring.

"It's dead," Felix mumbled.

Chan giggled at that, "Well...ressurect it or something? You know-"

"Hey, Felix," Minho stepped into the bedroom again. Both Chan and Felix tensed up, not expecting to hear anything nice from Minho this time, too. "Don't be so gloomy, do you want me to buy you the counting sticks?"

"Minho, I will fight you, I swear," Chan groaned, and when Minho laughed the older continued, "That's not funny at all."

"Fine, fine. I'm not gonna bother you anymore," Minho said and left, still smiling. That started to get on Chan's nerves.

He looked at Felix again, noticing a mixture of disappointment and annoyance on his face.

"Don't listen to him. He's being extra cruel today," Chan tried to take Felix's mind of Minho's jokes.

Felix kept silent for a moment, not looking directly at Chan, and then said, "Can you just give me one more hug?"

"Of course, baby."

* * *

After Felix had left, Chan found Minho munching on his cereal in the kitchen. The older was determined to talk to his roommate about Felix, as Minho's sarcastic comments wasn't helping the younger during his breakdowns.

Chan stopped in front of the table, his arms crossed, staring at Minho, who was sitting there. At first he didn't pay attention to Chan, but then lifted his gaze, swallowing the food, "What?"

Chan pursed his lips, not answering the question, and sat in front of Minho.

"Seriously, hyung. What's up?" Minho continued eating.

"You're really asking me what's up?" Chan was getting irritated, even though he was reserved most of the time.

"Ugh, that little schoolboy influences you badly," Minho groaned, "You're becoming as dramatic."

"That's the problem Minho. What's wrong with you? Why do you keep insulting him?" Chan's voice was steady and firm, his expression serious, but his insides were itching with annoyance.

“I’m not insulting anyone, okay? If he doesn’t get the jokes, that’s not my problem,” Minho huffed.

“He’s sensitive, don’t you understand?” Chan kept trying to appeal to Minho’s consciousness.

“How is he going to survive in this world if he’s that vulnerable, huh?” Minho stopped eating at this point and crossed his arms, looking at Chan with a challenge.

“Now that is not your problem,” Chan sighed, “Just stop talking to him at all then. If you’re devoid of empathy and don’t give a shit about what others say, that doesn’t mean people around you feel the same way. We’re all different, Minho. How can you not understand that?” Chan frowned. He was disappointed, which couldn’t leave Minho unaffected.

“I understand that…” He mumbled, shifting under Chan’s gaze, which meant Minho started to feel guilty, though the older decided to push him forward a bit more.

“But it seems quite the opposite. You don’t know what he’s struggling with. And even though his problems may seem stupid or unimportant to you, they are valid. He’s a human just like you and me, with his own worries that make his existence harder. So don’t you fucking dare tell him something offensive again,” Chan warned his roommate.

“Bang Chan is swearing, oh god,” Minho tried to change the subject, feeling uncomfortable and ashamed now, “You must really care about him.”

“I do. And I care about you as well. What’s up with you today?” Chan looked Minho directly in the eyes.

Minho jerked his head, not expecting the older to ask about his well-being, “Um…why? I’m fine…”

Chan narrowed his eyes, “You were nastier than usual,” he stated.

“I- What? It’s just…I’m okay,” Minho avoided meeting his friend’s eyes.

“If you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine. I’m not making you,” Chan stood up from the table.

“Th-thanks…But I’m fine,” Minho tried.

“Surely,” Chan chuckled humourlessly and left.

* * *

A few days passed by in their natural flow.

Minho got so immersed in his daily routine, he barely had any time to himself.

But now he was left alone, Chan staying in the university for a bit longer to work on his project, and Minho finally could do whatever he wanted to, having all his assignments completed.

He planned on eating something tasty and watching a TV show he had found out about recently, so Minho was in the middle of cooking himself dinner, when he heard a knock on the door.

He wondered who could that be. Chan had his own keys, and they weren't expecting anyone to come, so Minho decided to ignore it, but then he heard a knock again, louder this time. Well, he had nothing to do but answer the door.

He was wetting his hands with the towel on his way to the hall, as knocking didn't stop.

"I'm coming, coming," he groaned, getting a tiny bit irritated by someone's persistence.

Minho didn't bother looking through the peephole, so he was surprised to see Felix, "It's you? Um...Chan's not home."

It seemed like Felix didn't expect Minho to open the door either, so he stayed silent for a moment, processing his thoughts.

"Hyung, you're so rude," he suddenly spat.

"What?" Minho winced, "Whatcha talking about?"

"You didn't even say 'hi'. And for how long are you going to keep me outside?" Felix quirked his eyebrows, gazing at Minho expectantly.

"You wanna come in?" Minho tilted his head and threw the towel over his shoulder.

"Um...yeah...that's what I came here for?"

"But Chan is not-"

"You just don't want me here, right?" Felix narrowed his eyes accusingly.

"No need to be dramatic," Minho said, his tone harsh, so Felix huffed and turned around, walking down the stairs.

"Where the hell are you going?" Minho shouted, feeling confused. He actually wanted Felix here.

"Somewhere," Felix kept walking away.

"Come in," Minho leaned on the front door, as if inviting the younger in.

Felix stopped, crossing his arms, his eyes still narrowed in the judging manner.

"Go, go, or I'm gonna close it. It's not summer, kid, it's geting cold," it seemed to convince Felix as he turned around and approached Minho, stepping into the apartment.

Minho closed the door behind them, while Felix was taking his shoes off.

"You hungry?" Minho asked, heading towards the kitchen to continue making dinner.

"Not really," Felix got quiter for some reasons.

"Means, you are?" Minho questioned louder this time for Felix to hear from the hall.

When there was no response, Minho walked into the hall again, still holding the towel, to see Felix stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do with himself.

"You're much bolder when Chan's around," Minho chuckled, and Felix rolled his eyes, "C'mon, just be your natural nasty self and behave the same way you do with hyung," Minho raised his eyebrows, trying to make the atmosphere less tense.

"I'm gonna wash my hands."

"Nice, I'm waiting for you in the kitchen. I'm almost done, you're right on time," he winked at Felix, so the younger ran into the bathroom fast, making Minho laugh.

* * *

Felix walked into the kitchen silently, plumping onto one of the chairs, watching Minho, who was cooking.

The older didn't notice him, so he kept singing quietly, while stirring something in the pot. It smelled nice.

When Minho turned around to look for something he jumped in surprise, not expecting to see the younger, scaring Felix as well, "God, I almost got a heart attack," Minho whined, "Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"Didn't wanna distract you," Felix shrugged, completely realxed this time.

"So you decided watching me like a creep would be a better idea?" Minho asked sarcastically, but his expression suddenly changed into something that looked like fear, "Damn, you heard me sing," Minho covered his face in embarrassment.

"Why, why? Your voice is really nice," Felix reassured the older calmly.

Minho peeped through his fingers, suddenly straightening his posture and coughing, "Ah...whatever. I'm done. Let's eat."

In a minute Minho placed two steaming bowls on the table, sitting down in front of Felix.

"Thank you, hyung," Felix said, his voice barely audible. Minho just nodded.

They were eating in silence for some time, when Minho spoke up, "May I..." He hesitated for a moment. Felix lifted his head, looking at the older sullenly. "May I ask you something?"

Felix's gaze wandered from Minho's face to the half-empty plate, then to Minho again, and he nodded carefully.

"What are you always so sad about? I genuinely don't understand. I mean..." Minho looked away, trying to formulate what to say.

Minho had been thinking a lot recently. What was happening with Felix bothered him for some reason, but Minho wasn't used to feeling much. He never cared about anyone. Chan became an exception, but Minho completely didn't expect to start worrying about someone else.

His relationship with Felix was the strangest thing he had ever experienced. Minho didn't know how to lable it. He knew lots of things about the younger, saw him often. However, Felix still was distant. And it annoyed Minho as much as the fact he cared about that boy.

Felix stopped eating, putting his hands under the table and leaning on the chair back, "That's too personal, I can't just spill that."

"But you tell Chan everything," Minho protested.

"Cuz he's my best friend? And you're just his rommate?"

"Yeah, but..." Minho frowned, and Felix chuckled, rolling his eyes, "But I just..." Minho continued, and Felix looked at him again, "I never wanted to hurt you on purpose or something." That was actually true. Even though Minho messed with Felix a lot when the latter came over, it never was a bad intention.

Felix groaned, "What is that for, hyung? Is that a revelation evening?"

"Oh, fuck you," Minho blurted out, but then jerked his head, his eyes becoming wider, "That's not what I meant..."

Felix laughed quietly, "Don't worry. Your words won't hurt me much."

"Really?" Minho's tone was hopeful.

"Sure," Felix smiled, "I can sabotage me by myself."

Minho's expression faltered, and Felix furrowed his brows. He couldn't believe this hyung truly cared about his feelings (even if he wanted Minho to) as he hurt them too many times, even though it wasn't on purpose. Minho shouldn't have been that careless, Felix thought.

"So you won't tell me anything?" Minho tried again.

"Hyung, seriously?" Felix asked rhetorically, his tone sarcastic, "You already know I'm not good at math. It's just a stupid school subject, but you keep making fun of me every time I come here," Felix looked Minho right in the eyes, "And you expect me to share something else with you? No, thanks."

"I didn't know it could hurt you..." Minho averted his eyes, "I'm sorry. For real."

"It's fine."

"No, I-"

"Hyung, I said it's fine," Felix cut him off, "It's all good now."

"Why you came here anyways? You wanted to share something with Chan?" Minho asked suddenly.

"Nah, just missed him."

Minho quirked an eyebrow, thinking it was a joke, "Wait, really? Just 'cuz of that?"

"Yeah, why?" Felix furrowed his brows.

"Um..." They both heard the sound of the unlocking door. Chan.

Felix jumped up almost immediately, not letting Minho finish. The younger rushed into the hall, leaving grumpy Minho behind.

"Oi, Felix. You're already here!" Minho heard Chan say, making a 'tsk' sound. Jealousy was starting to get him again. Why wasn't Felix happy to see Minho like it was with Chan?

"Hey-" Chan cut himself off when he entered the kitchen, his happy expression turning into a frown, "What's wrong?" Felix came after him, smile disappearing from his face as well when he looked at Minho.

He lifted his head, quirking an eyebrow, "What's wrong?"

"You look like you're going to kill someone, hyung," Felix pointed out, and Chan smirked.

Minho grimaced, and wanted to answer savagely, but Chan was faster than him, "So you said you came to tell me something," he turned to Felix.

"Yeah!" The younger exclaimed, "Come on!" And they left, presumably for bedroom, to get some privacy, not even looking at Minho.

Of course, who he was to share worries with.

He stood up, grabbing his bowl still full of food, and got into the living room, turning on the show he had initially planned to watch. Minho sat on the couch as comfortably as possible, and tried to focus on what was going on on TV, but he couldn't concentrate. His mind wandered to the room where Chan and Felix were talking, and he didn't want to know if it was pure curiosity or something else.

Minho felt angry not so much from Felix's not sharing with him as from feeling bitter and envious. It was stupid to feel that way, Minho thought. Though, he knew exactly what it was.

A developing crush.

A very painful and unpleasant one.

Minho wanted to be around Felix as much as possible, wanted to become closer to the younger, but understood that wasn't possible because Felix obviously despised him and had a huge soft spot for Chan. There definitely was no place for Minho.

The most absurd thing that annoyed Minho was that he didn't like emotional people, being quite cold and reserved himself. And Felix was the hugest drama queen Minho had ever met.

However, there was no way to get away from that feeling. Minho tried to reject it for quite some time but it refused to go away. He hated it. That's why he got all sensitive and fiery recently, but he didn't have anyone to share his concerns and emotions with.

Chan was his only close friend. And that only friend would defend Felix at all costs. There was no way he would let Minho approach the boy after all the pain he caused Felix.

And it sucked. Minho had to do something with it.

* * *

Felix got out of the bedroom with Chan all smiley, giggling softly and looking at the older with obvious fondness.

Minho grimaced, stirring what was left in the bowl. He didn't even want to eat it now as his food became cold and disgusting.

"Bye, Minho-hyung," Felix called for him, standing in the doorway, but Minho, feeling offended for only God knows what, didn't even spare the boy a glance, completely ignoring him. Felix waited there for a while, hoping Minho would answer, but the older kept focusing on his food as if there was something tasty left to eat.

Felix rolled his eyes and turned around to head towards the front door. Chan gave him an apologetic look.

"Don't pay attention to him, he's just-"

"It's fine, hyung. I don't know why I thought he could ever change," Felix said loudly enough for Minho to hear it, "Bye," he hugged Chan, and left.

Chan heard Minho throw a bowl into the sink and watched him enter the bedroom with a loud door slam.

"These kids..." Chan said to himself, sighing and shaking his head.

* * *

Chan entered the bedroom and saw grumpy Minho lying down on his tunk. He was so deep in thoughts, he didn't even notice Chan first.

"Whatcha thinking about?" He sat next to Minho, causing him to shift and blink frequently to focus on Chan.

"Um...nothing much," Minho kept furrowing, "Actually..." He suddenly changed in expression, scaring Chan a bit.

"Yeah?"

"I think..." Minho's gaze darted around the room, "No," he turned around abruptly so now he was facing a wall, still lying down.

Chan tried to process what was going on for a moment, quizical expression on his face, "Um, Minho..." Chan jerked his head, still thinking of how to approach his friend, "What's going on with you recently, for real? You act so strangely. I don't say it's bad-"

"I know," he turned around again, now staring at the ceiling, "I need to sort this out first, and then we can talk, but..." He switched into the sitting position,cautiously gazing at Chan.

"What?" Chan asked, his eyes narrowed.

"I don't think you will like it..." Minho played with his fingers.

Frown deepened on Chan's face, "You're scaring me. I'm not used to see you so sensitive," he tried to joke, but Minho winced.

"It's scaring me, too," Minho got all serious.

"Okay," Chan stood up, "I see you're not ready to talk, let's leave it for now. I won't push you...Take your time."

"Yeah...Thanks..." Minho answered and lied down again, facing a wall.

Chan shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback very much appreciated!!!!!!! drop a comment to let me know what you think!!


	2. fateful meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mention of minor character death  
> (nothing serious i promise) and smoking

Minho yawned loudly and stretched on his chair behind the cash register. Today's shift at the local twenty-four-hour convenience store was quite easy, but boring at the same time. There were no customers to serve, so Minho's eyes were closing gradually. 

"-hyung?" Familiar voice dragged Minho out of his little nap. He felt a bit disoriented, and tried his best to focus on the person who stood in front of him. 

"Felix?" Minho blinked rapidly, turning to the clock to find out what time it was. "What are you doing here so late at night?" He still felt sleepy, so it was difficult to keep in touch with reality.

"I- ugh...just had to get some stuff," Felix answered, handing Minho some snacks he had chosen to buy.

Minho took the rustling packages and started actually serving Felix.

"So-o, you work here?" The younger asked, and Minho nodded slowly, "I didn't know...I-" Felix wanted to say something else when a man Minho's age ran into the shop.

"Hyung! Sorry! I'm late again!" That must have been another worker, Felix thought. 

"It's fine, Mingi, don't worry," Minho answered calmly, putting Felix's food into the paper bag.

"Just lemme change," Mingi said and disappeared in the staff room.

Felix payed, taking the bag full of junk food, and was going to leave, when Minho stopped him, "Hey- Wait. It's late, I should walk you home. I'm just gonna grab my hoodie."

Minho rushed into the staff room, stumbling into the other worker, Mingi, who was coming out of it. Felix froze in his place, still processing what Minho had just suggested. Though it sounded more like a statement.

"Let's go," Minho came up to Felix. "Bye, Mingi."

"Bye," Mingi focused on his phone, but then turned around, "Wait, do you know each-" But Felix and Minho were already gone.

* * *

  
"Why aren't you home this late?" Minho broke the silence a few minutes after they had started walking together.

"Ugh...um," Felix faltered, "My mum's not home, and I'm scared when I'm alone."

"So...you went out on the streets to feel better?" Minho was perplexed, and when Felix nodded Minho continued on, "But...isn't it more dangerous here than at home?"

Felix shrugged, "I just needed to unwind, I guess."

"Unwind? You needed to sleep at half past two," Minho raised his eyebrows, finding the younger boy's words nonsencial.

Felix just chuckled, "Well...I couldn't sleep."

"And does it happen often?" The older gestured vaguely.

"What?" Felix furrowed his brows.

"Does your mum leave you alone often?"

"Ugh, this...Yeah, quite often. She has lots of business trips," Felix looked up at the sky, eyeing the moon. "During the daytime it's fine, but at nights...I don't know...I just feel down," he sighed.

"Hm, you know..." Minho drew Felix's attention, the older's expression becoming pensive, "I was left alone when I was younger a lot, too."

"Yeah?" Felix asked, and Minho hummed. "Tell me about it, hyung."

Minho flinched at how Felix called him again. "Well...My parents were quite busy as well. When I just got into school, they had lots of work to do, so I had to go to school by myself, come back by myself, cook myself lunch, and do my assignments," Minho's tone was casual, as if he wasn't affected by the past at all. "Then I had to wait for my parents. I would draw or play something, or maybe watch cartoons. I was lucky when they came early, but most of the time they would show up late at night, when I was already asleep on the couch with the TV on."

"You were so young...just a kid," Felix mumbled, examining Minho's face in order to find any emotions, but there were none. Only the strong nonchalance and the unwavering calmness. That reminded Felix of his mum and he shuddered, blaming it one the cold wind when Minho asked what was wrong.

"You're not an adult yourself," Minho smirked this time. "Anyway I'm not mad at them or something..."

"You're not? Why?" Felix wondered. He was kind of angry at his mum for always leaving him alone with his fears and struggles. 

"They worked hard for me to become who I am now. Besides, there's no point being mad at dead people," Minho said still casually, but Felix gasped.

"They're...?"

"Died in a car accident a few years ago. It was my senior year in highschool."

"How come you're so unbothered while talking about it..?" Felix pried, feeling confused.

"I am," Minho answered firmly, "Or I was? It's all in the past anyway. Now everything is fine," Minho nodded, trying to reassure the younger.

"Now I feel somewhat bad for being mad at my mum..." Felix pursed his lips.

"Don't be mad, I'm sure she has her own reasons."

"What do you mean?" Felix frowned.

"Well...Chan told me some things. About her making you take exams you don't like and stuff," Minho shrugged.

"Ah...What reasons though?"

"I dunno," the older pouted like a baby, "Maybe she tries to make you successful? She doesn't make you study well because she hates you. I guess it's right the opposite. She might take lots of business trips to provide you with all the best? But that's just my assumption. "

"Hm, you think?" Felix mused, and Minho nodded. "You may be right...here's my house, by the way," Felix mumbled, reluctant to say goodbye. He wanted to spend more time with Minho like this. He felt less lonely and terrified. "Thanks for uh- walking me..."

"Yeah, not at all," Minho was still unbothered, even though they had to part ways. It hurt Felix just a bit. "See you soon...I guess."

"Yeah, bye, hyung" Felix answered, and Minho saluted, smiling wryly and turning around on his heels.

'Maybe he's not that bad, after all,' Felix thought, while unlocking the apartment's door.

* * *

Another time Felix came knocking to Chan and Minho's shared apartment's door left Minho as surprised as it had been the first time. 

Minho had been concentrating on the assignment he had been given by his professor. A terrific assignment, let me tell you. Lee had spent hours on it and still wasn't done. So, being interrupted like that made him pretty annoyed. 

"You again?" Minho spat without greeting the younger. "When will you learn that you should ask Chan when he's home, and only after that parade in here?"

Felix didn't expect such a reaction at all. He was down, and Minho's irritated cold tone made the boy feel even more upset. Felix squirmed, unconsciously taking a small step back.

Minho narrowed his eyes, still feigning hostility. "What? Say something," Minho demanded.

"I..." Felix started as he fumbled with the sleeves of his hoodie, "Actually...I know Chan-hyung is not home."

Minho raised an eyebrow, "Huh? What are you doing here then?" He asked holding onto the doorknob. 

"I came to you," Felix said quietly, looking at the older sullenly.

"Oh," Minho visibly relaxed, raising both eyebrows. His expression changed completely, the malevolence long gone. "To... to me? But why?" Minho frowned. Now he noticed how vulnerable the younger actually looked at that moment.

"I just thought...No, that's stupid," Felix straightened his posture suddenly. "Sorry, I took your time, hyung," he spoke and turned around on his heels to run away, but Minho grabbed his hand, stopping Felix.

"Come in," the older demanded one more time. "Let's talk."

* * *

Minho and Felix were now sitting on a balcony, the older taking drags on his cigarette from time to time. Felix had been watching Minho's movement for a while now, which started to irritate the older again.

The assignment still had to be done. The dinner wasn't ready. The time was nearing evening. But Minho was wasting his time here, on a balcony, next to the complicated and annoying teenager. And the fact Minho enjoyed sitting there, right beside the younger, made Minho's blood boil.

"Why are you silent?" He finally said, not being able to endure that anymore.

Felix blinked a few times, focusing on Minho's face, and then blurted, "Give me that."

Minho frowned, not quite understanding what the boy asked for, "Give you what?"

"A cigarette," Felix requested with the most serious expression, which made Minho chuckle and then switch to ironic laughter. 

"Don't you think you want too much?" Minho asked, drawing a smoke into his mouth again, teasingly this time.

"Just give me that."

"Why would I?" Minho smirked, being amused by this whole situation, "What if Chan-hyung finds out? I don't have a death wish, kid."

"He won't find out. C'mon, is it so hard for you to give me that fucking cigarette?" Felix practically begged at this point.

Minho spared him one more ironic glance, deciding there wasn't anything bad in it. Big deal, he gave a teenager to smoke. Nothing inappropriate. 

Felix took a cigarette from Minho's outstretched hand. The younger took a drag on it eagerly, but then exhaling the smoke gradually, calming down.

Minho looked at him with shocked expression, previously expecting Felix to start coughing fiercely, but it didn't happen. Quite the opposite, the boy relaxed visibly, his shoulders falling down.

"You smoke!" That was the only thing Minho could say at the moment. 

"Duh, I do," Felix inhaled again, as if putting it on a show, which made Minho smile. The younger was trying to look cooler, Minho thought. If only he knew how comical he looked to the older now. However, he was still shocked by the fact that Felix smoked. Minho thought the boy was an overdramatic goody-two-shoes, but it turned out he didn't know Felix that well.

Still, Minho didn't understand why Felix would act out in front of him. "It's bad for your health, you know," the older smiled wryly.

"Tell me something I don't know," Felix handed the cigarette back to his hyung, Minho taking the last drag on it, before throwing it away.

"Aren't you too young for it?" Minho teased the boy.

"And when did you start smoking?" Felix crossed bis arms on his chest, quirking an eyebrow at Minho.

"In highschool."

"Then you're not in the position to lecture me," Felix turned away and looked up at the sky through the balcony window.

"Can't argue with that," Minho grinned, his eyes lingering on Felix. "But why did you come here anyways? And to me. Are you that desperate?"

"Why desperate?" Felix protested. "You helped me last time, so I thought-"

"Helped?" Minho mumbled, furrowing his brows. When the hell could he, Lee Minho, help Felix?

"Yeah...when we met in the convenience store a few days ago. Talking to you calmed me down," Felix said quiter this time, even shy.

"It helped? But how? I don't have a way with words," Minho couldn't believe what he heard.

"You're amazing at it, actually. You just have to share what's on your mind, and, voilà," Felix gestured while talking, "You have a pleasant conversation with someone."

These words made Minho flustered. He didn't expect to hear a kind of a compliment from the younger. It gave him butterflies, and suddenly Minho was reminded he actually had a crush on Felix.

"But, ugh-" Minho coughed, "Did you come to share something?" He hoped his voice didn't get high-pitched at the end.

Felix lowered his head, "Yeah...I don't really know what to do, ahah..." Felix laughed humourlessly. It sounded like he was quite close to a nervous breakdown. 

Minho gestured, encouraging the younger to continue on. "So...you know it's my final year at school," Minho nodded, "and I have to take exams in February and actually graduate," Felix chuckled, still bitterly, "But I don't really feel like that's what I want to do? I mean, enrolling in the university and stuff..."

Felix looked up at Minho, checking if he was listening. The older had a deep frown on his face, meaning he was not only listening, but also thinking of a solution. "But what's so bad in going to university?"

Felix was taken aback, "Well...there's nothing particularly bad, but..."

"But what?"

"But I'm not sure that's what I want, I already said that," Felix sighed.

"What do you want then?" Minho kept asking leading questions. 

"I..." Felix wanted to answer, but suddenly understood he had nothing to say. He started to feel embarrassed, so he looked away, "I don't know."

Both of them fell silent after it, but then Minho hummed, probably coming up with something, "Why not choose the safest way then?"

Felix stared at him, perplexed, so Minho went on, "I mean, you don't know what you want, but your mum has already decided what's good for you. Why not just go for it?" Minho suggested. "If you look at it that way, you're gonna get a higher education, and it'll help you get a decent job in the future. It's guarantees...stability?" The older shrugged. "You can always quit if you suddenly find a hobby that'll become your passion, but why resist now? We live in a society, and it's difficult to survive in it if you don't have a certain status," Minho looked Felix in the eyes. "What I'm trying to say is I see no point in fighting when you don't have the thing you wanna fight for. Just go with the flow, I guess. Who said it's bad?" Minho concluded.

Felix had to take his time to formulate what he wanted to say, but all he could produce was, "Woah, hyung...Anything you say is...is...changing my perception of life. How the fuck do you do that?" Felix whined.

Minho just grinned and replied, "I'm only sharing my thoughts."

"Thank you, hyungie," Felix gave him a faint, but warm smile, and it made Minho's guts twist. He studied the younger's face with a dreamy expression for a while, so Felix spoke up.

"Hyung, you're staring," he retorted.

"I want to do a ridiculous thing now. Can I?" Minho asked, moving a bit closer.

"I don't know. Can you?" Felix teased, gulping next moment, the smile disappearing from his face. 

They looked each other in the eyes for a moment, Felix's gaze suddenly darting to Minho's lips, which didn't escape the older's attention. 

Minho shortened the distance between their faces, waiting for a few seconds, before pressing his mouth against Felix's. 

The kiss was soft and weak, but enough to make their heads spin.

Minho didn't get a chance to pull back properly as the next moment Felix was kissing him again. It was just a press to lips, awkward and inexperienced, but made both of them happy.

"Lix..." Minho wanted to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of the opening door. "Shit, it's Chan."

Felix just giggled, following Minho to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heiyy!! hope you're having a good day!!  
> please drop a comment to let me know what you think!!


	3. first try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added some messaging bits here  
> and i think i'll keep doing it in the future every once in a while, so!!! mind the time stamps

_25 september (9:02 pm)_

you:  
did chan hyung ask you something else?

minho hyung:  
no felix, calm down  
he doesn't suspect anything  
i don't even think he may come up with something like that   
i don't believe it happened myself

you:  
hyung...

minho hyung:  
what?

you:  
what are we?

minho hyung:  
what is that supposed to mean

you:  
hyung don't play dumb

minho hyung:  
felix i like you

you:  
you can't...

minho hyung:  
what do you mean i can't?  
i told you i do   
it's serious 

you:  
don't be mad at me....  
why do you even like me?

minho hyung:  
i'm not mad at you  
and i wish i knew why  
i'm not gonna say shit like you're perfect or something 

you:  
i'm not asking you to ://

minho hyung:  
i just like you, okay?  
i tried to reject it for a long time but i couldn't 

you:  
why would you reject it

minho hyung:  
cuz you don't like me?

you:  
who told you???????

minho hyung:  
i just see

you:  
well  
you're wrong

minho hyung:  
what do you mean?

you:  
i like you too

minho hyung:  
huh

you:  
what

minho hyung:  
lee felix

you:  
what...

minho hyung:  
i'm taking you on a date tomorrow 

you:  
you don't have to, hyung

minho hyung:  
i want to  
i need to ask you something 

you:  
ask now?

minho hyung:  
things like that can only be asked in person 

you:  
okay okay  
but where will we go?  
what we're gonna do?

minho hyung:  
you'll see

you:  
no hyung   
TELL me  
i don't like dates in the ordinary sense

minho hyung:  
it's not gonna be ordinary 

you:  
it's gonna be extraordinary?  
THAT'S EVEN WORSE

minho hyung:  
shut it felix  
i said you'll see

you:  
you're rude >:

minho hyung:  
sorry  
i didn't mean to

you:  
you sound soulless 

minho hyung:  
then you'll have to keep up with it

you:  
why would i

minho hyung:  
because you'll like tomorrow's date

you:  
( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)  
promise it's not a scary movie  
i hate them

minho hyung:  
it's not

you:  
fine...

Felix put the phone away and lied down on his bed, staring into the ceiling.

Talking to Minho felt weird. Felix couldn't help tensing up every time he saw the older typing as Felix was afraid of getting a message he wouldn't like.

Felix was used to being mothered and surrounded with care by Chan, and Minho was too blunt, inattentive and harsh most of the time. Still, acknowledging that Minho was really talking to Felix made the younger feel things and get that tingling sensation all over his limbs. He smiled bitterly.

It was hard not to think of where Minho wanted to take Felix. The latter didn't like the obscurity. He also hated surprises. He was never good at hiding his emotions, so if Felix wasn't fond of something, it would definitely become obvious and blow up in the other person's face.

And that would lead to a conflict eventually. Almost always did at least, and Felix didn't even want to imagine how he may fuck up the building relationship with the older.

To be completely honest, Felix had a tendency to overreact. But it happened naturally, and ususally Felix couldn't do anything about it. The only person who would overlook such unpleasant bursts of emotions and understand was Chan. Others would leave Felix after a bunch of minor quarrels, not even willing to discuss the root of the problem. 

That's why Felix was holding onto Chan for dear life, and if his hyung would disapprove of whatever relations that were developing between Felix and Minho, Felix would drop it without a second thought. Chan was much more important to him.

Felix didn't sleep well that night.

* * *

_26 september (1:01 pm)_

minho hyung:  
i'm next to your house

you:  
coming!!

* * *

Felix counted to ten before coming out of the house. He was still very worried about upcoming date. He didn't want to ruin anything. 

"Hey," Minho greeted the younger, giving him a small but warm smile. Felix melted just a bit, but still couldn't relax.

"Hey...Will you tell me where we're going now?" Felix tried.

"Nope, wait," Minho grinned, but then noticed how agitated Felix became. "It's gonna be fine, I promise. I told you you'll like it."

"How come you're so confident about it?"

"I just know," Minho winked, and they hit the road.

* * *

To say Felix was amazed would be an understatement. He couldn't help but gasp when Minho brought him to their destination.

"A dog cafe? No way, hyung!" Felix exclaimed.

Minho smiled, noticing how Felix's eyes lit up with excitement. "You like it?" 

"Of course, I do!" Felix smiled. "But wait," he frowned, "I thought you liked cats more."

"I do. Just wanted to make you happy," Minho answered his tone casual, shrugging.

Felix's features softened and he rushed forward, hugging the older tightly, "Thank you, hyung."

Minho hesitated before wrapping his arms around the boy's frame carefully. He didn't want to admit it, but Felix got him flustered too much recently. "Not at all. Let's come in," he suggested and Felix nodded.

* * *

First few minutes were a bit awkward. 

Felix was obviously excited and wanted to pet each and every dog he noticed, but for some reason kept acting cool in front of Minho. It amused the older, as after some time, when Felix got used to that atmosphere, he almost forgot about Minho's presence, only calling for him to show hoe cute the dogs were.

Messing around with dogs just wasn't Minho's cup of tea. He stroked random dogs that were approaching him every once in a while, but didn't get the same sentiment as Felix. Minho was into another thing though. 

Watching the younger coo over the puppies made him feel so warm on the inside. He almost forgot how nasty Felix can be sometimes. That thought made him giggle, which drew Felix's attention.

He just smiled at Minho and the older grinned back, thinking he made the right decision to take Felix here. All thanks to Chan who occasionally spilled during lunch they were having together that Felix adored dogs and really wanted one, but mum wouldn't let him get it.

Minho didn't expect to feel so happy only because of watching the younger play with dogs, but somehow it happened. Maybe he was already that deep, and was falling even harder. That thought scared Minho, but he tried not to think much about it, at least for now. He wanted to enjoy that perfect moment with Felix. 

* * *

After the dog cafe session Minho got ice cream for both of them and they headed towards the nearest park to spend a bit more time together. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye yet, and Minho still had to ask Felix something. 

"Hey, remember I needed to ask you something?" Minho said, and Felix turned his attention to the older, stopping. They were in a secluded area of the park where nobody could see them.

"As I already told you...I like you. A lot," Minho started from afar.

Felix smiled wryly, "I like you, too, hyung. Where is it all going?" He narrowed his eyes. 

"Lee Felix...Will you be my boyfriend?" Minho's brows were drawn together, indicating he was dead serious at the moment.

"You're so formal," Felix smiled, rolling his eyes playfully. "Of course, I will, hyung!"

"And this...don't call me hyung. You can call me by my name...if you want," Minho got shy suddenly.

"Okay," Felix whispered, the conversation dying down. Somehow both of them ended up very close to each other, only a few inches separating their faces from one another. Minho shortened that distance and Felix felt Minho's mouth against his own, giggling into the kiss. 

They pulled away, gazing each other in the eyes, and then Minho embraced the younger, Felix's head leaning on Minho's shoulder.

"Come on. I'll walk you home," the older whispered, pressing one more kiss to Felix's temple. It felt even more intimate than the kiss on the lips.

They kept walking, their pinkies intertwined.

* * *

"Thank you for today, hyu- Minho," Felix was fast to correct himself. 

"I'm happy you liked it. You can trust me," Minho tried to reassure the younger boy.

"M-m," Felix made a thinking face, "I'll consider it." And when Minho pouted Felix continued, "It's just my trust issues," he shrugged.

That offended Minho as he remembered about how devoted Felix was to Chan, but then he thought he wasn't in the place to feel bitter about it. The boy had his reasons to not trust Minho fully. "Okay, I'll prove you that you can rely on me then," he said calmly.

Felix just chuckled, "I'll go. See you, Minho."

"I'll text you." 

* * *

_26 september (6:42 pm)_

you:  
minho minho mjnjo

minho hyung:  
yes?

you:  
are you at home?

minho hyung:  
not yet  
why

you:  
please don't tell chan we're dating yet

minho hyung:  
um  
why?

you:  
just  
please.....  
not yet

minho:  
if that's what you want?

you:  
yesyesyes

minho:  
don't you think he'll be angry if he finds out we hid it from him?

you:  
i don't know?  
i don't wanna tell him now

minho:  
okay  
i won't either

you:  
thanks  
and text me when you're home

minho:  
??why

you:  
i'm worried

minho:  
oh  
okay

* * *

It felt wrong. Everything felt so weird to Felix. But he couldn't discern why.

He was dating a guy he liked now. He had just returned from a wonderful date, which went extremely well. Something was off though. 

Intrusive thought about the fact he wanted to hide this relationship from Chan was bugging Felix. And somehow he got afraid of the possibility that mum may find out about what was going between him and Minho. She never showed interest in stuff like that, but Felix already got restless and couldn't help overthinking at this point, feeling worried about that relationship.

The boy had that sinking feeling that things wouldn't be easy in the future at all, but tried to fight it at all costs.

Hopefully, his mum was finally returning home from her business trip, and Felix could crawl out of that nasty state for at least a little while.

_26 september (6:58 pm)_

minho:  
i'm home  
'image attached'

you:  
jsksks did he fall asleep just like that?

minho:  
i guess...  
hyung really shouldn't work that much  
he worries a lot about useless stuff  
you have it in common

you:  
:////  
besties things

minho:  
kkk  
what you gonna do?

you:  
nothing much  
mum's finally returning  
she's gonna be here any minute  
soo i'm waiting

minho:  
i see  
i'm gonna wake chan then  
i think he didn't even take a shower

you:  
hsjjssj  
take care of him!!  
and of yourself too!

minho:  
i sure will 

Felix heard the click of the front door, indicating someone was coming in. For the first time he was truly happy his mum returned, as he didn't have to be all alone with his thoughts. He hoped Minho would text him tomorrow. 

* * *

_27 september (6:20 am)_

minho:  
good morning!

_27 september (12:02 pm)_

you:  
good morning!!!  
wait  
WHEN did you text me????  
why were you up so early??

minho:  
i usually run in the mornings

you:  
whaat  
i never even imagined

minho:  
well  
we never really talked about it  
don't you do sports?

you:  
i used to do taekwondo   
but now i'm too lazy to even breathe   
exams are taking all my time  
so i don't have energy for any physical activity 

minho:  
it's okay  
soo you have school tomorrow?

you:  
yeah cuz it's monday

minho:  
right....  
good luck? i guess

you:  
sjjssk thanks  
good luck in uni

minho:  
thanks

Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Minho kept saying it in his head. He hated that he cared so much about holding a conversation, and he questioned his decision to date Felix more and more with every minute. 

It wasn't about Felix, though. Minho was just so used to being alone for a long time that the only thought about worrying about someone but himself drove Minho crazy.

Yeah, he was constantly next to Chan. And yeah, Minho cared about his friend, but it wasn't the same. Friends and lovers weren't the same, and if Minho had had a bunch of friends before, he was a complete stranger to romantic relationships.

Minho never doubted the fact he liked Felix, but he didn't enjoy that feeling either. Minho's mood was stably changing for hundreds of times during the hour. And they were officialy dating for only one day (even though only they knew about it). What would happen next if Minho felt so bad at the moment?

Minho tried to calm down by convincing himself it was just a new feeling for him. He wasn't awared of how it was to be in a relationship like this one. He just needed time. 

Time.

Fuck. It was unbearable. 

Chan drew his brows together, concerned, as Minho groaned and hid his face in the pillow for the fifth time in half an hour.

* * *

_1 october (5:41 pm)_

minho:  
hey felix  
how are you doing?

you:  
you're really interested?

minho:  
yeah...i'm your boyfriend 

you:  
kskskdjzksksksks  
soooo strange to acknowledge that  
don't you feel it too?

minho:  
yes i kinda do   
i'm a bit disorientated aha

you:  
yeah same

minho:  
so? how are you?

you:  
ugh honestly   
so bad  
i'm very very tired  
i'm sick of all those tests

minho:  
damn i feel sorry for you   
you need to unwind((:

you:  
ahahah i guess..

minho:  
wanna go together somewhere tomorrow?  
i'll provide you with unforgettable impressions 

you:  
sounds scary...

minho:  
i just wanted to go to the movies

you:  
kkk i want to go then!

minho:  
what movie then?

you:  
i don't really care  
choose whatever you like

minho:  
you sure?

you:  
yep!

minho:  
okay then i'll pick you up after school

you:  
see ya!

* * *

Felix couldn't concentrate during the last lesson at all, knowing that Minho would be waiting for him. The younger didn't want to get his hopes up but theit first date really provided him with unforgettable impression, so he automatically hoped this one would be nice, too.

When the bell rang he was the fastest to run away, grabbing his jacket and coming out of the building. He scanned the space in front of the front porch and saw Minho, who was already waving at Felix to catch his attention. Felix grinned widely and waved back before running up to his boyfriend.

"Hi," Felix said out of breath. 

"Woah, were you running?" Minho supposed, noticing some tiny drops of sweat on Felix's forehead.

"Y-yeah," the younger faltered, "I really wanted to see you."

Those words made Minho's heart beat faster. He leaned in closer and hugged the younger, Felix pressing his cheeck against Minho's shoulder. Minho was never really fond of physical affection, but this boy had a strong influence on him.

"Let's get going," Minho pulled away.

* * *

The movie theater was full of people, as it was a Friday evening - the most suitable time for such forays.

Boys decided not to take any food or drinks not to queue and headed towards the cinema hall, Felix declaring he didn't want to know what film Minho had chosen as the younger wanted it to be a surprise.

Felix didn't know why in the hell he didn't ask what movie exactly they were. He hated surprises for a reason, and now he made a fool of himself. It didn't take much time for him to realize what kind of movie they were watching. It was horror - Felix's most hated genre. He got frozen at first after the screamer made some of the people there shout in fear. But when the second scary moment came out he lost it all. He got up silently, and left as fast as he could.

"Felix?" Minho whispered. "Where are you going?" But Felix never replied, so the older had no other choice except for following the younger.

Minho finally caught Felix near the front door, grabbing his hand a bit too harshly. Felix straightened his arm, sparing Minho a murderous glance.

"What's wrong?" Minho was completely clueless. 

"It was a horror movie," Felix stated, his tone a tiny bit scandalous, crossing his arms on his chest and fully turning around to face the older.

"Yeah? And?" Minho still didn't understand the reason of such behaviour, and his blood started to boil because of how annoyed he was getting.

"I told you I hated scary movies!" Felix exclaimed angrily. Minho kept silent, glaring at Felix failing to understand, so the younger didn't stop. "How could you? Did you do that on purpose? To laugh at me?"

"What the fuck are you saying?" Minho woke. Suddenly it occurred to him: Felix told Minho that before their first date. "I fucking forgot, okay? I didn't even pay attention to it at that time!" Minho protested fiercly, though his words sincere. 

"Of course! Why would you pay attention to me? And I thought everything will be fine with you for once! But I mistakened," Felix spat and turned around to leave.

"Fel- Felix!" Minho shouted, but the younger was already far away. "What the fuck?" Minho whispered to himself, suddenly feeling conscious of his surroundings. He was in a public place after all, he shouldn't have raised his voice. 

He left too, extremely confused and itritated. Minho saw no point in getting this angry just because of the movie genre. He probably needed to text the younger, even though he didn't want to do that at all.

* * *

Minho crashed into his and Chan's apartment, feigning grumpy aura. 

At first Chan thought of letting Minho be and not annoying for now (more trouble than it was worth), but when he saw how upset Lee was, Chan decided to do something with it.

He let Minho calm down a bit, while making him his favourite green tea, and then knocked on the bedroom's door carefully, holding a steaming cup in his hand.

"Yeah, come in, hyung," Minho's voice was muffled behind the door, but even in such position Chan could discern that wasn't just because of a bad day. Something serious had happened.

"Hey-y, I made your favourite tea," Chan smiled faintly, when Minho thanked him, a bit surprised, and then put the cup on the desk where Minho was sitting.

Chan plumped onto the bed in front of the desk, while Minho sipped the hot liquid, "Why such a sweet gesture all of a sudden?"

"I noticed you're down. Hoped it'll make you feel at least a little bit better," Chan answered calmly, but Minho's expression changed into a deep frown, almost as if Lee was in pain. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He remembered about Felix at that moment. Even though Minho found the younger's behaviour childish and absurd, he was sure Felix felt even sadder than Minho did at that moment. Something must have triggered the boy, and it wasn't just a scary movie for sure. And Minho had caring Chan by his side right now, while Felix was all alone, probably beating himself up for what had happened earlier.

"M-m, it's nothing," Minho shook his head, but when he met Chan's eyes, full of disbelief, he corrected himself, "I know how to handle it, so it's gonna be fine."

Chan sighed, "Okay. But if it'll get too insufferable, promise to come to me."

"I promise, hyung," Minho assured him, and Chan got up, leaving the room to provide Minho with some personal space.

Minho needed to text Felix right now.

_2 october (6:09 pm)_

minho:  
hey felix  
we need to talk

you:  
hyung i'm so sorry  
i shouldn't have behaved like that  
hyung will you forgive me

minho:  
hey hey  
don't apologize  
it was my mistake 

you:  
NO hyung  
you just forgot  
and i overreacted as usual  
i'm so sorry

minho:  
felix calm down  
first of all i told you that you can drop the honorifics  
secondly i'm sure you didn't just overreact  
tell me what's wrong 

you:  
will you forgive me?

minho:  
i was never mad at you  
you just left me confused that's it

you:  
i just  
ugh

minho:  
you can tell me

you:  
my mum  
she never remembers what i like and dislike  
and she sometimes mocks my interests and fears so..  
i thought you mocked me too  
i'm sorry minho

minho:  
baby don't apologize   
i would never ever want to cause you pain on purpose   
i know i mocked you in the past quite often  
i'm very sorry for it  
i didn't know you suffered from it at home too  
it's me who needs to ask for forgiveness   
i never thought it affected you that way  
i promise to be more attentive to your preferences from now on

you:  
minhoooo  
i'm gonna cry because of you

minho:  
i said something wrong?

you:  
NO!  
i'm so happy to have you :c

minho:  
baby..

you:  
thank you   
and i'm not mad at you or something

minho:  
okay  
so  
we're good?

you:  
yes!

minho:  
great  
wanna meet again on weekends?

you:  
to fight again?

minho:  
i'll fight you rn (ง'̀-‘́)ง

you:  
hsksks  
yeah i wanna meet  
but i choose this time!!

minho:  
okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dear readers!....  
> i'm asking you to leave a comment once again, yes  
> you know, getting kudos is very precious to me, but comments let me know what you think of my fic much more precisely, moreover they motivate me to write more often
> 
> i was actually waiting to get at least 1 of them on the previous chapter, that's why i haven't uploaded for so long, but well....i didn't want to make you wait either
> 
> of course it's up to you to leave comments or not but....if you think your comment won't change anything or that it's not much, you're wrong, i appreciate such form of feedback very very much
> 
> thanks for coming to my ted talk


	4. secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theeeere's gonna be a small tike skip, be careful with time stamps

Felix was never a fan of spending time on busy streets and in crowded places.

He hated eating out in cafes and restaurants, as he was shy of consuming food in front of others. He didn't like shops because of nasty assistants who would occasionally come up to him and suggest their help. He felt sick even after someone mentioned any public event since it impied being involved in some sort of questionable activity with other people. In a word, ew. 

That's why Felix had a hard time choosing where to take Minho. Besides, Felix suddenly understood he knew nothing about the older's interests, so it made Felix's attempts even more unsuccessful. 

That's why he decided on a safe bet - a simple walk in the park, probably grabbing some tea or coffe on their way. And Felix would justify it by the need to get to know each other better. Perfect plan.

However, some things never change for overthinkers. Felix couldn't stop worrying about Minho finally getting tired of him and ending it all. 

Felix still hadn't recovered from the movie incident. A few moments after he had left the theater Lee felt so embarrassed he wanted the ground to swallow him up. The boy couldn't hold back tears when he returned home and spent a few hours pointlessly drowning in pitying and scolding himself. 

When Felix received a message from Minho, he was afraid to open the app. Felix thought it'll say something like 'we should break up'. 

The problem was that Felix easily became attached to people who took even minor interest in him. Moreover, he was more and more into Minho with every day, and thoughts of the older hating him made the boy depressed.

Fortunately, his worries were groundless. 

"I'm not into spending time in public places too, you know," Minho admitted after Felix expressed his concern. "Going to the cinema or waiting for coffee in the coffee shop is something I can endure, but something more...nah," Minho kicked the small rock that was on their way, while they were walking on the street. "I'm glad we concurred on it," he smiled.

"Yeah, me too," Felix sighed with relief. "Staying at home is nice as well, by the way."

"Oh, right, right," the older lit up. "Especially when you order tasty food and arrange a marathon of your favourite series or something," Minho specified and Felix nodded excitedly in agreement.

"I was afraid you'd think I'm boring or something," Felix faltered, feeling a bit insecure. He wanted to admit it to Minho, though it was difficult to say it out loud.

"What? Why?" Minho questioned sincerely. "Not liking crowded places doesn't make you boring, Felix. It's like a personality trait, I guess?" He shrugged, "I enjoy walking just like that with you."

Minho made it sound as if it wasn't a big deal, however it meant a lot to Felix. Knowing the older felt good because of strolling with him warmed his heart. "I like it too." 

"Maybe now everything will be fine', Felix thought.

* * *

"So-o...it was nice," Minho said when they came up to Felix's house. "I'm getting more and more into going on dates with you," he giggled.

"Come over tomorrow then," Felix suggested. "Mum won't be home till night," and when Minho wiggled his eyebrows, Felix went on, "Not like that, Minho, jeez-"

"Kidding," he laughed, "See you tomorrow then."

"Yeah," Felix was ready to turn around to leave, but Minho's voice stopped him.

"What, won't even give me a goodbye kiss?" It was obviously a joke, but Felix confidently approached Minho, smirking, and pecked him on the cheek. 

"Bye!"

* * *

_4 october (1:12 pm)_

minho:  
i'm gonna go to the convenience store   
you need anything?

you:  
a pack of cigarettes  
the same as yours

minho:  
you sure?

you:  
wym ://

minho:  
maybe something else

you:  
no only that

minho:  
felix

you:  
WHAT  
you wanna lecture me again?  
quit smoking yourself first

minho:  
i'm just worried about you

you:  
worried my ass  
where does it come from?  
you never cared and now you suddenly do

minho:  
first of all i didn't know you were smoking  
secondly we're dating now  
where the fuck is your logic

you:  
oh so it's my fault now?  
and maybe i'm worried too  
but i'm not telling you to stop smoking??

minho:  
do you even hear yourself 

you:  
we're texting  
so I CAN'T 

minho:  
fuck you felix that's so childish of you  
why are we even bickering?

you:  
YOU started it  
i just asked for a pack of fucking cigarettes  
if you weren't going to buy me what i would request why did you even ask??

minho:  
if you requested drugs, then i should buy you them?

you:  
what THE FUCK are you saying????  
that's not the same  
i didn't even ask you to spend your own money  
i was going to return them to you  
why are you making such a problem out of it  
and you say I'M dramatic duh

minho:  
see you felix

you:  
....

* * *

"Here are your packs," Minho threw them to Felix, the younger hardly managing to catch them.

"I asked for one..." he said sluggishly. "Let me fo get money," Felix almost turned around, but Minho stopped him.

"That's a gift...for anniversary," Minho grinned.

"The hell anniversary?" Felix quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"We're together for eight days," Minho noted cheerfully, following Felix inside.

"That's not even an anniversary..."

"I don't fucking care, I don't need your money."

"You're unbearable," Felix rolled his eyes.

* * *

Despite quarrelling through texts before, Felix and Minho spent the rest of the day peacefully. 

They ordered food, watched a comedy together (even though Minho tried to talk Feix into watching horror, but got rejected), spent an hour just lying down on Felix's bed and cuddling. All in all, a productive date of two introverts.

Still, Minho and Felix felt the need to talk the previous fight out, as it was suffocating both of them. They got to share their thoughts when they got on a balcony to smoke.

"Hey, I'm," Minho spoke, coughing, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started all this. You were right," he lowered his head. "I'm definitely not a role model..."

"Glad you understand that," Felix huffed.

"I'm trying to apologize here and you-"

"Sorry, sorry," Felix chuckled, "Go on, I'm listening."

"Actually, you have something to say, too," Minho raised his eyebrows in challenging manner, taking a drag on the cigarette.

"Me?" Felix gasped a bit exaggeratedly "And why's that?" He drew the smoke into his lungs as well.

"You're too savage for someone your age."

"Let me remind you that _you_ let me drop the honorifics," Felix highlighted the word with his tone.

"I hoped you'd feel more comfortable that way. And I thought you respect me at least a little..." Minho drooped, making Felix feel guilty.

"Hey...I actually do. Respect you, I mean," Felix faltered, feeling coy. "I'm getting to know you more and more every time we meet, and...everything I find out makes me admire you," Felix looked Minho in the eyes. "For example, you didn't give up on studying after your parents...you know. I can't even imagine what I'd be doing. You're so brave," Felix averted his gaze, his cheeks becoming crimson red. "And the way you care about Channie-hyung...It's subtle, and it's difficult to notice at first, but I've noticed it long ago...And you also are very, very smart. They way you talk, it's..." Felix was playing with his fingers, feeling too scared to look at his boyfriend right now.

Minho couldn't help smiling while looking at Felix, "Come here," Minho pulled Felix in closer, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and higging him tightly. "I like you a whole lot, you know that?" Minho asked playfully, and Felix hummed shyly, "You're so cute, baby," he kissed the younger on the cheek.

"No, you," Felix mumbled, making the older laugh.

* * *

_7 october (5:20 pm)_

channie hyung:  
hey lixie  
you've been so quiet lately  
is everything okay?

you:  
oh  
yeah, all good!!!!  
i was just you know  
into studies  
next week will be full of tests soo  
i was preparing 

channie hyung:  
you're such a hard worker!  
do you rest though?  
and do you eat well??

you:  
yes hyung!!!!! you needn't worry

channie hyung:  
let's meet on friday?  
we can go somewhere?

you:  
i'm up!!!! 

channie hyung:  
i'll text you later then

you:  
ok!

 _'I shouldn't lie, I should tell him about us right now,'_ Felix thought, ruffling his hair.

Lying was bad, Felix knew it. Especially lying to his hyung, who cherished Lee and would do anything for him. Felix felt so disgusted and ungrateful at the moment. Previously he thought that he'd stop dating Minho immediately if Chan would disapprove, but Felix got attached to his boyfriend even more now, and the threat of losing both of his hyungs made him want to throw up as that feeling was sickening. 

Getting enough courage, even though hands trembling like hell, Felix opened the messenger, ready to tap on the dialogue with Chan. And suddenly it occurred to Lee: he had already agreed to go on a date with Minho on friday, and now Felix had to cancel one of the meetings.

It was very hard to choose. Felix spent almost twenty minutes thinking of alternatives: if he cancelled the meeting with Chan, he would need to explain why, and if he cancelled the date...well, Felix didn't actually know what would happen. He had no idea how his boyfriend would react, so Felix decided to go for it.

_7 october (5:57 pm)_

you:  
minho....

minho:  
what's wrong?

you:  
why wrong 

minho:  
i don't know why  
you tell me  
or everything is fine?

you:  
no actually...

minho:  
( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)  
what?

you:  
remember we agreed to meet on friday?

minho:  
of course i do

you:  
so...

minho:  
stop using dots it's annoying 

you:  
sorry   
so  
i accidentally agreed to meet with chan hyung on friday....  
oh sorry for dots

minho:  
( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)  
am i a joke to you?  
cancell it??

you:  
i can't!!!!!  
or i'll have to explain why

minho:  
what's the problem?

you:  
minho i can't tell him

minho:  
why?  
for how long are you going to keep it a secret?  
do you understand it harms me too?  
chan will forgive you anyways and me?  
he'll be angry at me felix

you:  
he won't..  
you know he's too kind to be angry 

minho:  
oh really?  
then why don't you tell him?  
i don't fucking understand 

you:  
that's your fucking problem.  
i ask you to try to understand me

minho:  
explain then

you:  
i'm scared 

minho:  
of what felix?  
the longer you keep it the more scared you'll get  
your behaviour just makes me think that you're completely not serious about our relationship   
i don't ask you to tell your mum or something   
chan's our mutual friend  
a friend who you've known for ages by the way  
he accepts you the way you are and you think he'll suddenly stop being friends with you if he finds out?

you:  
minho i can't 

minho:  
fuck you

you:  
minho please  
minho

_7 october (6:12 pm)_

you:  
minho you're online

_7 october (6:23 pm)_

you:  
minho please don't pressure me  
you don't know how hard it is for me  
i promise i'll tell him soon  
there's something he doesn't know about me

minho:  
you didn't even remember about our date  
and you agreed to meet with hyung in a heartbeat 

you:  
are you jealous?..

_7 october (6:34 pm)_

you:  
minho...  
i'm sorry please don't leave me on read  
i know i forgot  
you forgot about me not liking horror and even took me to see it

minho:  
and you made a scene instead of explaining like a normal person

you:  
hey :c  
you tried to understand me back then  
and you succeed by the way

minho:  
stop it

you:  
minho forgive mee  
we haven't decided where to go with chan hyung yet  
let's spend this friday evening together  
all three of us

minho:  
and how are you going to explain THIS to hyung?

you:  
no how   
we used to spend time together when i would come over and it didn't need an explanation   
minho?

minho:  
okay  
i'll just be at home

you:  
don't be mad at me >:

minho:  
i'm not  
i'm trying to understand you  
like you asked  
i still can't   
but if you don't want to tell chan yet then  
okay..i'll wait till you get comfortable 

you:  
you're the best

minho:  
fuck  
you

you:  
♡♡♡

_7 october (6:48 pm)_

you:  
hyungie?

channie hyung:  
yeah?

you:  
let's not go anywhere on saturday   
i may just come over and we will order something?? and rewatch haikyuu?

channie hyung:  
oh minho likes it

you:  
oh  
then he may join us?? if he'll be at home

channie hyung:  
yeah why not  
but i'm not gonna ask rn

you:  
is something wrong?

channie hyung:  
he threw the pillow at the wall and aggressively went to make some tea for us  
i'm afraid to ask what's wrong 

you:  
ahah  
maybe a bad day?

channie hyung:  
who knows...

* * *

_9 october (4:52 pm)_

minho:  
text me when you'll come up to our house

you:  
why

minho:  
i wanna smoke  
we can smoke together

you:  
why don't you do it on the balcony??

minho:  
firstly  
did you smoke already?  
secondly   
don't you wanna smoke again with me??  
thirdly

you:  
MINHO

minho:  
what  
chan says it STINKS to him

you:  
but you stink constantly because of smoking  
it just  
happens  
going out on the street may help but...  
not for long  
because you still will stink

minho:  
yeah expert explain it to chan

you:  
you anyway smoke on the balcony when he's not home 

minho:  
so you're gonna text me or

you:  
khsjsksks yeah yeah

* * *

Chan heard the sound of the opening door, while preparing snacks for today's marathon.

"What took you so long?" He shouted from the kitchen, thinking Minho returned alone, but then Felix's deep voice greeted him, so Chan turned around, surprised. 

"Oh! You're here!" Chan exclaimed, noticing Felix as well.

"Yeah, I saw Felix while I was smoking and we...got into conversation," Minho shrugged, Felix nodding in agreement, his lips pursed.

"You two? Got into conversation?" Chan raised his eyebrows. Minho and Felix exchanged glances. "Ya-ah, what's up with you, guys? No more fights?" He chuckled, completely unaware of how wrong he actually was. Two other boys just laughed nervously.

"Go wash your hands!" Chan commanded finally, and returned to mixing crisps.

* * *

Watching anime together was always fun. Someone's funny comments, added here and there once in a while made the process even better. Usually all of them felt relaxed during such sessions, but this time Minho was tensed, sitting on the armchair. He spared cuddling on the sofa Chan and Felix glances every once in a while, not being able to stop feeling jealous.

 _He_ wanted to be hugging Felix at the moment. Wanted the boy to lay his head on Minho's lap like this. Wanted to stroke the younger's hair, too. Felix was _Minho's boyfriend_ after all. 

Such thoughts made Minho more and more annoyed with each and every sugary smile Chan and Felix gave each other. _He_ wanted Felix's attention, so Minho had to think of the way to draw it.

In a few moments Felix pulled away from Chan to reach for the cookie, shifting a bit closer to where Minho was sitting. At the same moment the younger decided to open the banana milk, so he held the cookie with his lips pressed together in such way that the cookie was partly sticking out from his mouth. A crazy idea dawned on Minho suddenly.

He urged forward, biting the protruding bit of the cookie from Felix's mouth, their lips brushing. Minho then returned to his place, munching happily, while Chan and Felix got flustered, both looking at Minho with shoked expressions. 

"Um...what the hell was that, Minho?" Chan spoke up, slowly coming around.

"I wanted a cookie," Minho said carelessly, as if he didn't do anything unusual. 

"And...you couldn't take it from the bowl?" For some reason Chan kept asking. Maybe he was trying to find an adequate explanation of what had just happened. 

"Yep, couldn't," Minho admitted shamelessly.

Chan was at loss of words, and Felix remained speechless, his cheeks pink.

"Lix, you okay?" Chan frowned.

Felix still had a cookie in his mouth, so he looked rather comical right now, which made Minho laugh. And when Felix woke, he started laughing too, while munching on the cookie, which aldo caused him to choke a few times.

Chan didn't expect such a reaction, so he kept staring at the boys, but then decided to stop thinking about it. No one was going to explain what was so funny anyways.

The rest of the evening Felix was leaning on the armrest of the sofa, closer to Minho's armchair, both exchanging words with each other. And Chan was just frowning while watching those two interact. _'Something's going on,'_ he thought. 

* * *

_9 october (8:10 pm)_

you:  
i'm home

minho:  
ok

you:  
minho

minho:  
what now 

you:  
why did you do that?

minho:  
what

you:  
STOP PLAYING DUMB  
the cookie thing...

minho:  
cookie thing 

you:  
ANSWER

minho:  
i was jealous 

you:  
jealous????  
again??

minho:  
yes.

you:  
you could've exposed me in front of chan hyung  
you promised to keep it a secret before i'll be ready  
and you decided to ruin it all just because you were jealous??

minho:  
i couldn't do anything about it

you:  
lame  
you could've texted me or something   
but almost kissing me??? when chan's around???  
why are you so careless?

minho:  
you liked it

you:  
it didn't matter minho  
we were around chan

minho:  
then you shouldn't have been canoodling with him almost all evening 

you:  
canoodling??  
are you fucking serious right now?

minho:  
dead serious.

you:  
he's MY HYUNG  
my childhood friend  
i've known him since i was in the kindergarten minho  
he's literally a part of my family at this point  
do you understand that????  
i can't imagine flirting with my brother  
i don't even like him like that

minho:  
still

you:  
no stills  
i'm not your property  
and if you keep getting mad like that just because i'm somertimes affectionate with chan hyung   
who i love and respect endlessly let me remind you  
we will have to break up

minho:  
so you're gonna threaten me with a break up now?

you:  
open your eyes minho  
and understand that it's your mistake, not mine  
you're not in a position to be jealous

minho:  
felix

you:  
night

minho:  
hey  
...  
good night

And this was how one of the hardest parts of being in a relationship started for Minho. He had to fight the overwhelming feeling of envy and possessiveness and reflect on it.

It was difficult to admit, but Felix was right. He wasn't Minho's property, the boy was his own person. Moreover, Minho had been just a best friend's roommate to Felix for about two years and they started dating less than two weeks ago. And that couldn't be compared to years of friendship Felix and Chan had behind their backs.

Minho sighed, feeling tired and defeated. He lifted his gaze to look at Chan who was sitting behind his desk working on the computer. His brows were furrowed slightly as he was concentrated on whatever he was doing. 

A sudden sense of guilt hit Minho so hard he winced. He had been angry at Chan recently for such a stupid reason, Minho forgot how he actually appreciated the older. He knew why Felix loved Chan so much, he felt that too. And he finally understood he was in no place to take that away from the younger. 

Minho got up from his bed, approaching Chan and hugging him from the back.

"Minho?" Chan asked, his voice quiet but tone obviously concerned, "What's-"

"I'm sorry, hyung," Minho hid his face in Chan's neck, a burst of unpleasant emotions flashing through him.

"For what?" Chan gasped, fully turning around to Minho to hug him properly. 

"For all the inconveniences I've caused you," Minho's muffled voice wavered. The boy sniffled. 

"What are you talking about? Hey," Chan pulled away, his hands on Minho's shoulders, to look Lee in the eyes full of tears. Some of them had already escaped and smeared on his cheeks, making his face wet.

"Minho-ya," Chan's gaze darted around Minho's face, "What's going on with you, huh?" Chan was very worried right now.

"Hyung..." Minho's lips started to tremble, "I'm awful. I'm the worst," he kept mumbling, more and more tears falling from his eyes.

"Who told you this?" Chan took Lee's hands in his, "You're doing good, you hear me?" Chan asked, but Minho shook his head in disagreement. "You'll sort it all out," Chan knew Minho wouldn't say now what made him so insecure, but Chan had to reassure him somehow. "You're gonna do great, Minho. It'll pass, yeah? I'm always here with you, I'll always support you." 

The older hoped such words would make Minho feel better, but Lee started sobbing even louder, burying his face in Chan's chest. If only he knew it made Minho feel even guiltier than before. Lee strongly decided to fight the possessive feeling as it affected all of them in a very bad way: Minho forgot how amazing Chan was, Felix got mad at Minho, and Chan had to endure Minho's pathetic presense. That's what Lee thought.

In actual fact, Chan felt sorry he didn't know how to help the younger. He was stroking Minho's hair gently, thinking how terrible he was as a friend, not being able to understand what was going on with Lee.

They fell asleep together that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, i still can't believe that i'm finally uploading this work bit by bit  
> there was such a mess in my drafts with minlix for soo long i thought i'd never be able to sort it all out, and now i even have a plot....the thing is that i'm only occasionally motivated to actually write
> 
> also i wanna note that minho has kinda grown up mentally/morally after the jealousy fight  
> as you've seen he even cried, though most of the time he's much more reserved than felix  
> that way i tried to show how deeply it affected minho and how strongly he decided to become better  
> and felix....you'll find out how he feels in the next chapter :Ddddddd
> 
> how did you like this chapter btw? i hope to get at least one comment!!! >:


	5. unsettling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw//  
> painful memories like death and break-up (but for a really tiny episode)

_10 october (3:32 pm)_

minho:  
hey?

you:  
oh really  
you've found time for me

minho:  
stop buffooning

you:  
sometimes i wonder where you get all those words from  
canoodle buffoon  
what's next? 

minho:  
felix.  
i wanted to apologize  
you were right  
i won't say anything about chan anymore   
and i'll try to suppress my jealousy

you:  
okay i'm sorry too..  
i should be more serious 

minho:  
apology accepted then?

you:  
yep

minho:  
you still seem tense

you:  
and how do you know i am  
you feel it through the phone?  
are you a psychic?

minho:  
no you're just overly bitter  
wanna go for a walk now?

you:  
i can't   
mum made me clean up

minho:  
why are you texting me then?

you:  
i'm resting jeez  
let's go tomorrow 

minho:  
okay, i'll pick you up?

you:  
yes

* * *

Anger had been overflowing Felix when he turned the phone off yesterday after the fight with Minho. The younger couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Minho even thought of something like that.

After all those several quarrels they had already had it was hard to believe for Felix that Minho could really change. For some reason the younger thought his boyfriend would keep being jealous. Fortunately, Felix didn't have any other friends for Minho to worry about. 

Some time ago Felix thought that possessiveness is something cute to look for in a relationship, he was even looking forward to it. He considered that if lovers weren't jealous of each other, they didn't care about one another, but experiencing it himself, Felix understood it had nothing to do with a sweet sign.

However this fight made Felix think that he knew nothing about Minho's social circle. Yeah, he was friends with Chan, but that was all information Felix had. Had Minho been dating anyone before? Did he have other friends? Felix had no clue, and therefore felt ashamed of that. He decided to find out.

* * *

Their walk was quite tense, not like the previous ones. Felix was primarily in his thoughts and Minho kept cheking something in his phone from time to time. When boys got into the small cafe to eat lunch, Felix hoped to get at least some attention from his boyfriend, but Minho remained silent. 

Felix lost it all after Minho smiled brightly at something in his phone and started typing fast. "Who are you texting?" Felix tried to get a look in the older's device, but Minho turned around and switched the phone off, raising his eyebrows.

"What are you hiding?" Felix frowned, becoming a tiny bit concerned.

"Nothing," Minho folded his arms on the table and smiled at Felix sweetly.

Felix just narrowed his eyes, but decided not to push that forward. Probably he was overthinking again, and Minho really had nothing to hide there.

"You know..." Felix pursed his lips, "You never told me about your friends or..." He squirmed a little, feeling a bit shy, "Or your ex."

"You never did, too," Minho answered simply. Felix shifted uncomfortably. 

"You know I have no friends," the younger furrowed his brows.

"Well...I heard that from Chan, not from you."

Felix fell silent for a moment, "What do you imply?"

"Why are you so suspicious today?" Minho protested, raising his voice a bit, "I'm not implying anything, Felix. And if you're so worried about it all, I have no friends except for Chan, just like you."

Felix raised his eyebrows in surprise. He never really thought much about Minho's social life, but somehow believed by default that the older would be popular among his peers.

"I'm in good terms with my groupmates, but that's it. We're not friends. I never really looked for friendship after highschool," Minho said, getting obviously sadder, and Felix noticed such shift in the mood.

"Why?"

"How shall I put it?" Minho pouted because he started thinking. "I got kinda frustrated with people. I've had a boyfriend in highschool...And," the older ruffled his hair, "He made me tell my parents about us, but they got really mad..." Minho furrowed his brows. Such memories definitely caused him lots of pain, but Felix still wanted to know what was left to be said.

"Go on," he encouraged Minho.

"And...Back then he said he'd always be by my side, but he kinda...betrayed me twice," Minho gnawed on his lip. "First, he rarely answered the phone after I came out to my parents and he kept telling me he was busy. And second...when my parents died, I was really down, you know."

"Of course," Felix whispered, a bit shoked.

"And he said...he said he didn't want to deal with me. Said he had to take exams, so he didn't have time to support me, but I needed him so much." Felix expected Minho to cry, but the older only had a deep frown on his face, avoiding directly looking at Felix.

"I'm sorry I made you bring up all this, Minho," Felix's tone feigned compassion, "You don't deserve this, sweetheart." 

That made Minho jerk his head and meet Felix's sympathetic gaze. The older's face softened, and he gave his boyfriend a faint smile, "Thank you, baby. But it's all in the past. I have you now."

"You do!" Felix exclaimed, which made Minho's smile wider.

They switched to another topic and spent the rest of the lunch much more pleasantly. 

* * *

"-and we need it to formulate conclusions from graphs," Felix heard his math teacher say with the dreariest tone possible. That subject was not only complicated, but also completely uninteresting to Felix, and a tiresome way of presentation was making learning math even more unbearable.

He was constantly freaking out on the inside while he was in the math class. Actually, Felix was freaking out anywhere in school. He dhad no-one to spend time with and wasn't fond of sitting in the class repeating material during breaks. 

So getting out of the building and heading towards his secret spot to smoke became his routine. That was one of the only ways to release stress and entertain himself during breaks. Quite a nonstandard leisure activity it was, you may think. But Felix found thrill in that need to be sneaky.

However, he had been too naive, believing his secret wouldn't have been uncovered.

The ringing bell snapped Felix out of his thoughts. All the students already gathered their things and exited the classroom, leaving only Felix and the class president there.

"Hey, Lee," she called for Felix.

"Yeah?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Our headmaster asked you to come to his office."

"Why?"

"Maybe because you shouldn't have smoked on the school territory?" She asked sarcastically, wincing her face in disgust.

Felix sighed, rolling his eyes. Fuck. He didn't need those problems right now, but avoiding the appointment would cause even more of them, so he grabbed the strap of his backpack grumpily and headed to the said office.

* * *

Felix knocked on the door, feeling a bit nervous. What if they contacted his mum already?

"Come in," he heard a muffled voice behind the door. 

Felix stepped into the room awkwardly, "Hello, um...I was told you wanted to see-"

"Sit down," the headmaster gestured towards the chair in front of his desk, and after the boy did as he was told, the headmaster spoke up again, "I need to see your parents, Lee, so I hope you'll notify them about it as soon as possible," he said, leaning on the table.

"Is that really neccessary?" Felix winced.

"Yes, we're worried about you, young man. You seem not to know about the damage you cause to your organism. Moreover, teachers have been saying you fall asleep during their lessons. Do you have problems at home?" The headmaster ranted.

"Um..." Felix's gaze darted around the room, "No...It's fine, but..." Felix gulped, "What if they can't come?"

"We'll sue them," the teacher answered in a heartbeat, his expression serious.

Felix lifted his eyebrows, "Okay...I'll notify my mother then," he nodded.

"Can't wait to see her."

"Ugh...sure," Felix stood up, "Goodbye, sungsaenim."

Felix left, shaking his head. Mum would definitely kill him.

* * *

"Hey, hyung. Do you have friends who are over forty?" Felix questioned out of nowhere, so Chan choked on his tea and Minho burst out in laughter.

"Why...you asking?" Chan turned around, confusion written on his face, to look at Felix who was sitting on the sofa and staring at the TV screen.

The boy kept silent, lowering his head. Felix wet his lips, tensing up. His gaze was everywhere but on Chan. Minho turned his attention to both of them, seeming interested.

"Lix..." Chan tried to approach him again, "Lix, what happened?" 

Felix lifted his head abruptly, gesturing weirdly as if it was helping to think better, "My mum..." he started, and Chan tensed just like Felix did a few moments ago, "She's...my headmaster wants to see her," he finally finished, avoiding the older's gaze.

Chan's gaze met Minho's. The latter quirked his eyebrow and shifted in the armchair to face Felix and Chan now properly.

"Okay...and why's that?" Chan furrowed his brows, still trying to get the truth out of Felix.

"Cuz they," Felix's voice cracked, becoming high-pitched, so he coughed, "Cuz they found me smoking..." He pursed his lips, finally gazing at Chan sullenly.

Minho laughed again, "They caught you? I thought you could be more discreet."

Felix snapped his head, "Says you, duh."

"Ugh...first of all..." Chan was confused, "Minho, you knew Felix smoked?"

"Um...Felix asked me for a cigarette once!" Minho exclaimed loudly.

"What?!" Felix protested, "Hyung, what the hell?"

"What?" Minho was smiling mischievously, "It's not even a lie."

"I hate you," Felix turned away from him and pouted, Minho mimicking the boy in a mocking manner.

Chan fell silent, trying to understand what both of them were talking about, "You...I...don't you wanna tell me what's going on between you two?"

Felix and Minho looked each other in the eyes, gulping. "What's going on?" Minho asked innocently. 

Chan just sighed and pursed his lips, "I'm sure you're hiding something. But I don't understand what exactly."

"Hyung...there's nothing to hide. I don't even like him," Felix winced, pointing at Minho, who just huffed.

"You surely don't," he answered.

"But Felix...why even Minho knew you smoke and I didn't?" Chan asked, looking a bit disappointed. 

"I...didn't want t-to upset you, hyung," Felix looked guilty now, "Thought you gonna hate me," he mumbled this time, his voice barely audible.

"Ah...Lix, I wouldn't hate you for that. It's fine," Chan rubbed Felix's back, "Minho smokes like hell and I still love him."

"Hey!" Minho exclaimed grumpily, but then he caught onto the second part and said, "Hey-y," much softer this time, "You love me-e," he singsonned.

"That wasn't the point," Chan shook his head and heard Felix giggle, "What we gonna do with you?" Chan turned to Felix.

"Guess I'll just have to tell mum the truth. What else can I do?" Felix replied hopelessly.

Chan was trying to figure out what to say, so Minho took that oppurtunity to speak up, "Ya, don't make it sound like it's the end of the world," he started, catching attention of both Chan and Felix, "Yeah, she'll find out you're not that perfect like she thought, but what if it'll make your mum look at you differently. Or maybe she won't even react badly, you can't know for sure," Minho was actively gesturing, "You anyway can come here at any time. And you're literally here twenty four-seven, so it's gonna be fine," Minho finished, giving Felix a faint smile.

Chan sat there, his mouth agape, still trying to process what had happened, but Felix's voice interrupted his train of thoughts, "Woah...thank you, Minho. For reals. You're right," Felix nodded to himself, his expression blank.

"Yup, no problem," Minho's smile grew wider, and what Chan didn't expect, it was genuine, no jokes this time. 

"Did I say anything wrong?" Minho suddenly asked.

Chan gulped and finally spoke up, "No, wh-why?"

"You look like creeps," Minho winced, and Chan and Felix exchanged glances, blinking rapidly.

The sound of the phone notification snapped all of them out of their daze. "Wait...You dropped the honorifics," Chan pointed at Felix, "And you didn't react," he turned to Minho.

"All right, I have stuff to do," Minho suddenly got up from the armchair, "See ya, creeps."

Chan and Felix kept sitting silently like that, but then they heard the front door open and close.

"Did he-did he just leave? Out of nowhere? After saying all this?" Chan freaked out, "Seriously, what's wrong with him?"

"He's just being himself," Felix shrugged.

"Aren't you surprised, though?" Chan sighed, "He's been acting strangely for a while now...feels like he got a girlfriend or something," Chan shrugged.

"A girlfriend?" Felix jerked his head, "What-what do you mean?"

"Well, he started to get those notifications all the time and leave right after it," Chan smiled playfully, "Maybe that's why he's so weird. He's just in love."

"Um...I...it can't be it, no way," Felix's guts twisted at the idea of Minho cheating on him already. Why would he even start dating him if he wasn't going to be loyal? And he dared accuse Felix?

"Why? Now you're acting weird, too. He influences you badly," Chan joked, but Felix kept frowning, "Why are you even worried? Don't tell me that-"

"No!" Felix exclaimed. 

"I didn't even fini-"

"Just no," Felix crossed his arms and pouted.

"Okay...but...it's not necessarily it. I mean, it's just my assumption. Maybe it's not about dating," Chan shrugged, feeling the need to reassure Felix.

"I hope so."

"Oh, you do now?" Chan smirked.

"Shut up, hyung! Let's not talk about it," Felix kept pouting, so Chan giggled.

"Fine, fine."

* * *

_13 october (2:21 pm)_

you:  
hey  
let's meet tomorrow

minho:  
i can't 

you:  
okay  
next time then?

minho:  
yep

_14 october (5:16 pm)_

you:  
what about tomorrow ?

minho:  
i still can't 

you:  
....okay

_17 october (9:56 pm)_

you:  
tomorrow??

minho:  
i've kinda been busy all week  
and i can't again

you:  
what are you even up to???

minho:  
i can't tell you

you:  
why???

minho:  
ugh...  
it's a surprise??  
if i tel you you'll tell chan

you:  
wtf i won't 

minho:  
i'm still not saying 

you:  
-_-

_17 october (10:00 pm)_

you:  
hyung may i come over tomorrow?

channie hyung:  
of course you may  
but only if you want to see minho :D  
i'm not gonna be home till late in the evening 

you:  
oh

channie hyung:  
but actually not sure if minho will be home lolol

you:  
why?

channie hyung:  
he's never home these days  
idk what he's doing  
he doesn't tell me :///

you:  
hm okay

channie hyung:  
you can come later tho!  
i'll text you tomorrow 

you:  
oh don't   
mum just  
called me and

channie hyung:  
and..?

you:  
i still need to tell her...

channie hyung:  
ah right right  
good luck!!!!

you:  
yeah...thanks..  
but actually   
i'll tell her tomorrow 

channie hyung:  
feliiiiiiix  
okay  
i understand you're scared  
take your time then  
but don't postpone that for more than 2 days

you:  
i'll try...

channie hyung:  
kkkk

Felix started to worry. Minho had been very suspicious for past two weeks. Chan's words about Minho getting a girlfriend were stuck in Felix's mind now. He probably lost his mind completely and forgot what common sense was, the boy couldn't think straight.

His head was full of nasty voices, telling Lee that Minho got bored with him and didn't want Felix around anymore. He started to feel jealous, too. The boy forgot he had accused his boyfriend of possesiveness not that long ago. 'He cheated on me,' was ringing in his head.

To tell you the truth, Felix knew Chan wasn't going to be home until late evening. Lee texted him only to make sure Minho would be there, but it turned out he rarely appeared in his own flat recently. However, Felix got nothing left to lose, so he was determined to visit his boyfriend tomorrow and talk.

* * *

Felix knocked on the door loudly, not really expecting anyone to answer it, so he lost all his courage after Minho finally opened it.

"Felix?" He quirked an eyebrow at the boy, obviously surprised to see him. "Come in..."

Felix entered the flat and crossed his arms on his chest whilst Minho was closing the door. The older turned around, stumbling on Felix. "What's up with you?"

The younger pursed his lips before answering, "Don't you wanna tell me anything?"

"No?" Minho narrowed his eyes, his mood turning hostile.

"Ah...really?" Felix faked a pensive expression, "So, someone else has been ditching me for the whole week?"

"I haven't. I was busy," Minho furrowed his eyebrows, his breathing becoming more rapid.

"And what have you been doing?" The challenge was obvious in the younger's tone.

"I..." Minho wanted to answer first, but then got reminded of Felix's impudence when the latter huffed, "You know what, you dare come here just like that, not explaining anything and demanding an answer. Relax and fix your face first," Minho scolded him.

"Oh, I won't," the boy protested.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, because you can't just cheat on me and act like nothing had happened," Felix raised his voice by the end of the sentence. 

"Wha- What?" Minho felt the blood boiling inside. "What the fuck are you saying?"

"You can prove me wrong?" Felix pried.

"Oh, I- Wait..." Minho's face lit up with the realisation, "You're jealous, huh?" He got a faint smile on his face, "Don't you know it's not healthy? Your jealousy?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Felix's voice got louder again. "How dare _you_ tell me anything about jealousy? I know pretty fucking well it's not healthy."

"Yeah, I can talk about it because I tried to change. For you. So you felt more comfortable. I FUCKING CHANGED, FELIX!" Minho shouted, which made the younger take a step back. "You wanna know what I've been up to? Let me show you, no problem," he raised his hands as if giving up and left for the bedroom. 

He returned in a moment, his smartphone in his hands, "Here."

"What is it?" Felix furrowed his brows. He got confused and scared after Minho raised his voice at him in such a harsh way.

"Read," Minho commanded shortly, so Felix did like he was told. It was a conversation in a groupchat. The younger focused on the messages, checking all the dates as well. There were some texts that Minho had sent or had received when he had been walking with Felix, or from that one day when the younger confessed to Chan about smoking. When Lee finished reading, everything got on its right place. He felt like a fool, completely ashamed. 

"Minho...You were volunteering in a cat shelter?" Felix asked, his voice barely audible, and when the older nodded, Felix continued, "Why...why couldn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to take a cat from there, I wanted it to be a surprise. You had to wait for one more day. _One more fucking day_ , Felix," Minho spat, looking somewhat disgusted.

"But I was worried..."

"So you thought I cheated on you? This is genius...Absolutely brilliant. Fuck you," Minho said all in one breath, "You should leave," Minho's expression turned cold and he turned around to open the door for Felix

"Minho...Minho, wait!" Felix exclaimed desperately, grabbing Minho's hand, but the older stepped back from Felix not letting the younger touch him.

"Minho, I'm sorry," Felix faltered, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Stop it, I don't even wanna talk about it right now," Minho avoided looking at his boyfriend. 

"Minho-"

"Why do you doubt me so much? Have I ever given a rise to think of me like that?"

"It's not you who-" Felix voice was so quiet, Minho couldn't make up what he had said.

"What did you say?" Minho was still harsh, asking that.

"IT'S NOT YOU WHO I DOUBT!" Felix spat, tears, rolling on his cheeks. 

"Then who? Who the fuck, Felix?" Minho's eyes got wet, too. It was hard seeing the younger so down, even though Minho was a bit mad at him.

"ME! It's _me_...who I doubt," Felix sniffled, turning away from Minho. "I- I'm afraid I'm not enough for you. I thought you'd leave me one day because you'll find someone better-"

"How can you not understand?" Minho approached the younger, grabbing his shoulders and looking him in the eyes, still full of tears. "I need no one, but you. _You_ , Lee Felix. There's no one better than you for me. I don't fucking know why. I don't know how it happened, but I only need you." A single teardrop fell from Minho's eye.

Felix hesitated for a second, frowning, and then urged forward and covered Minho's mouth with his lips, the older deepening the kiss instantly. 

They had been standing in the hall for several minutes just like that, in each other's embrace, but Minho pulled away and made Felix follow him to the bedroom.

There, the older pushed Felix slightly, so he sat on one of the beds, getting up on the younger's lap and continuing to kiss him.

Minho pressed forward, putting his hand under Felix's hoodie to run it over the younger's abdomen, his touch gentle. Felix moaned into the kiss softly, but the next moment he pushed Minho away, eyes wide, fear evident in them.

"Too much?" Minho asked, breathing rapidly. He must've scared Felix as the boy seemed a bit off and didn't answer at first.

"I- yeah...but I, I don't want you to th-think that I..." Felix was blinking fast while talking, and it seemed like he could burst in tears once again at any moment.

Minho caught onto the change in his mood, trying to reassure Felix, "Hey...hey look at me," Minho held the younger's hands, "It's fine. We're not in a rush. We may never do this again if you don't want to."

"I want to," Felix sniffled anyway, his eyes filling with tears, "I'm just scared."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, you hear me?" Minho asked, and Felix urged forward to hug him tightly.

"Yeah..." Felix pulled away, "Minho," the younger looked Minho in the eyes.

"Hm?"

"Kiss me again." Felix whispered, and Minho chuckled, shortening the distance between their faces.

* * *

Chan stepped into the apartment, ready to shout and ask if Minho was at home when he noticed an alien pair of shoes, which looked like it belonged to Felix. Bang frowned. As he recalled, the younger knew Chan wouldn't be home. Moreover, Felix said he wasn't going to come over. What was he doing here then?

Suddenly Chan felt the need to be as quiet as possible, sensing that something was off. He walked into the living room carefully, hearing the shuffling of clothes, reaching his ears somewhere from the bedroom, so he decided to check what was going on there.

He opened the door slightly, facing Felix who was straddling Minho's lap, however none of them didn't even noticed Chan, being too busy kissing each other.

"YA! WHAT'S GOING ON?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest, i'm so disappointed with this chapter   
> i was really down for the past several days and i was rarely in the mood to write   
> i was also very busy with some tiring stuff which literally drained me   
> i don't even have new minlix drafts anymore, i only know approximately where i want the plot to go but it requires lots of energy to actually write  
> so...i hope i'll get some comments from you, dear readers  
> and sorry for not not updating for long, i'm not sure when the next chapter will be finished, but i'll try to work on it as often as i can


	6. kkeut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minlix's memories are in italics

All three of them were now at the kitchen, Minho and Felix sitting by the table, and Chan watching them with his arms crossed.

"Why are you silent?" There were hysterical notes in Chan's voice. He was going back and forth to the extent possible with the footage of the small room.

"Hyung..." Felix spoke up, but fell silent right after it, still being afraid to confess.

"What?!" Chan snapped. His nerves were pulling him to pieces. 

However, when Chan saw two terrified expressions on his friends' faces, he tried to relax at least a bit, a small frown still evident between his brows. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, but...What is going? That's not the first time I notice something is off with you. You think I don't deserve to know?" Chan's voice became smaller by the last question. 

Two other boys kept silent, avoiding meeting Chan's eyes. 

"Come on," he still tried. "Felix?" Chan called for the younger, practically begging for reaction, but not receiving any. "Minho?"

"I can't tell you until he decides to," Minho mumbled.

"What?" Chan was taken aback by Minho's words. "What does it mean?" Bang turned to Felix, expecting the boy to answer, but he ignored the question. 

"There's no need to expose me like that, Minho," Felix crossed his arms on his chest just like Chan did a few moments ago.

"Are you kidding me, Felix? Expose you? Aren't we already?" Felix ignored Minho this time, too. "We kept it from Chan because you wanted to, and now there's no turning back."

"Oh, really? Maybe you should've been more careful then? Don't you know what time hyung comes home?" Felix kept asking, his voice raised.

"Do you even hear yourself? You say it's my fault now? I didn't ask you to come, you showed up uninvited!"

"You say it like you don't want to see me!"

"Of course, I do, Felix!"

"Then why are you insulting me?"

"ME?"

"YA!" Chan got sick of seeing his friends bicker, especially when he understood nothing about what was going on. "What's the fight for? Explain already? What did you keep from me?" 

"We're dating," Minho said shortly, and Felix lowered his head.

"For how long?" Chan was uncharacteristically relaxed.

"Since the end of September," Minho stated just as calmly.

"Not that much...but...why...why did you hide it?" Chan pursed his lips, frowning. He was obviously saddened, but not annoyed.

"I'm so sorry, hyung," Felix's voice was muffled and it wavered. His head was still lowered. Felix hid his face in his hands, sniffling.

"Are you crying?!" Chan raised his eyebrows, instantly runing up to Felix. 

Bang sat on his haunches in front of the younger, trying to look him into the face, but failing. Chan gently removed Felix's palms away with his hands, revealing Felix's already red eyes. "Lixie..."

"I'm sorry," he sniffled again. Minho just watched them from afar with an unreadable expression. 

"Don't be-"

"No, hyung," Felix started firmly. "It's totally my fault. I kept being the biggest coward, and I dragged Minho into it. Please don't be mad at him." Felix begged, while tears were running down his cheeks. 

"I'm not mad at any of you," Chan held his hand.

"You're not?" Felix raised his eyebrows, not expecting such reaction. 

"Of course. I just want to know why you decided not to tell me-"

"I wanted to! But-"

"Sh-sh," Chan tried to calm fidgety Felix down. "Don't panick."

"Okay...okay, I...I...it felt too scary... to tell you," Felix lowered his head again, "I thought...I thought you may not like it, or that you'll tell us to break up...I...I don't know..."

"Lix...I would never do such thing, and most importantly, you know it. Why are you always overthinking that much, huh?" Chan smiled warmly at Felix, and the latter finally looked Chan in the eyes.

"I wish I could stop it," Felix muttered, and both of them giggled.

"Come here," Chan said and pulled Felix into the hug, the younger standing up for it.

Minho was about to turn around and leave, when Chan called for him, "You too. Come here."

Lee hesitated for a moment, but then came up to them, so that all three boys were hugging each other, giggling as they felt relieved now.

* * *

Felix returned home light-headed and happy after clearing things up with Minho and finally revealing their relationship to Chan. 

So light-headed, he forgot he still had to tell his mother about being called to school.

"Hello," mother's voice scared the shit out of Felix. He even grabbed the sweater on the area where his heart was located. "Where have you been?"

"Mum! Hi!" Felix greeted her a bit too excitedly, so she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She had a bowl in her hands, stirring something in it. "What are you making?"

"Are you avoiding the subject? You know I never restrict your freedom."

"I was at Chan's," Felix mumbled, lowering his head.

"Okay," she replied simply. "What was that teeth pulling about then?"

"Um...that's what I...you know, there's, ugh..." Felix started stumbling on the words, feeling a bit scared of mum's possible reaction.

She sighed loudly, averting her gaze, "What happened?" Mum asked, her lips pursed in displeasure. 

"My headmaster...wants to see you..." Felix answered, squinting his eyes.

Mum sighed again, "Dinner's almost ready. Go change and wash your hands." She said with blank expression, turning around to leave, but Felix stopped her.

"Will you go?"

"Of course, I will. Do I have any other options?"

Felix shook his head, and his mum chuckled, ready to enter the kitchen, but Lee didn't let her do so once again. "Wait," Felix grinned, "Why are you making dinner? You hate it."

"I'm gonna pick you up tomorrow after school." She said, obviously irritated and disappeared from Felix's sight.

Felix huffed, "Why are you changing the subject, mum? What kind of example are you setting for your son?" He said playfully.

"One more word, and all you gonna eat will be a glass of water," she shouted from the kitchen, so Felix shut up, giggling and went to his room to change into something more comfortable. 

* * *

_18 october (8:10 pm)_

minho♡:  
felix  
felix   
felix where are you  
why aren't you unswering your phone  
i'm getting worried   
LEE FELIX

_18 october (9:24 pm)_

you:  
SORRY  
i couldn't answer

minho♡:  
and what were you so busy with

you:  
you won't believe this but  
MUM COOKED US DINNER  
LIKE HERSELF   
WITH HER HANDS

minho♡:  
um  
okay?  
and?

you:  
noooo you don't understand 

minho♡:  
enlighten me 

you:  
she hates cooking  
but if she does cook(!!!!)  
it means she's in a very good mood  
which usually lasts for a few days  
even weeks!!!!  
we even talked for the whole hour nonstop   
i missed it  
i missed her....

minho♡:  
oh  
i'm happy for you then

you:  
you sound soulles again

minho♡:  
i can't express it through the messages

you:  
you could at least add some exclamation marks

minho♡:  
i hate them

you:  
WHAT  
WE'RE BREAKING UP  
all gays use lots of exclamations  
are you lying to me????

minho♡:  
did it feel like lying when you moaned on top of me today?

you:  
MINHO.

minho♡:  
what?  
shy now, aren't we?  
stop saying nonsense 

you:  
kay kay  
you know what i'm thinking....

minho♡:  
what  
by the way did you tell your mother about being called to school?

you:  
that i want to kiss you rn  
DAMN MINHO WHY WOULD YOU ASK ABOUT IT NOW

minho♡:  
tf you're thinking  
school first boyfriends second

you:  
are you ill????

minho♡:  
why why  
chan's supervising us from now on

you:  
i don't know you

minho♡:  
kiss yourself then

you:  
MINHO

minho♡:  
stop capslocking me little annoying baby  
did you tell your mother about school

you:  
i did i did

minho♡:  
how did she react?

you:  
well...okay

minho♡:  
she's okay?  
but you smoke?

you:  
i.....didn't specify why my headmaster wants to see her....

minho♡:  
oh god are you for reals

you:  
i want her to find out in the headmaster's office.....i can't tell her

minho♡:  
afraid again??

you:  
yes....

minho♡:  
i recall you saying she's quite loyal

you:  
well...she is  
but that's a controversial moment.. 

minho♡:  
okay let me know then how it goes 

you:  
ok!!  
also

minho♡:  
m?

you:  
i want to tell mum about us

minho♡:  
what??? you sure?  
you were afraid to tell chan for so long  
is she even okay with that um  
kind of relationship?

you:  
i don't know....  
maybe you're right then..  
it's stupid 

minho♡:  
no felix  
that's not what i meant

you:  
huh?

minho♡:  
i'm anyway by your side all the time  
and so is chan hyung  
you can always come to us if anything goes wrong  
i just wanted to make sure that it's a considered decision 

you:  
well it's not  
but....minhoooo  
after you told me all that  
i wanna cry тт.тт  
i have the bestest best friend and the bestest boyfriend in the whole universe 

minho♡:  
chan hyung yeah, i agree with that   
but me? no

you:  
you're the best!!

minho♡:  
don't say it  
its not true

you:  
it is!!!

minho♡:  
shall i remind you of all the times we fought because of me?

you:  
but i love you

minho♡:  
you  
felix..  
thats is..a very serious allegation

you:  
don't you believe me?

minho♡:  
i  
i don't know  
it's not something to discuss through texts  
not for me at least 

you:  
i'll tell you that in person then  
easily

minho♡:  
i don't need it easily   
i need it seriously 

you:  
i'm serious

minho♡:  
are you really

you:  
what are you implying

minho♡:  
felix..  
don't you think you're just deceiving yourself   
we haven't been dating for a long time

you:  
but i know you for much longer  
and i got to know you much more   
just say you don't love me

minho♡:  
it's not about it felix

you:  
then what? huh?  
why are you shutting me up

minho♡:  
i'm doing no such thing

you:  
you are  
it's YOU who's not serious at all

minho♡:  
felix don't start it

you:  
start what?

minho♡:  
a fight

you:  
i just want to know the fucking truth

minho♡:  
oh really you want the truth?  
then what would you say about the fact that i fell for you the first time we met

you:  
what are you saying..  
that was so long ago  
like...2 years or even more 

minho♡:  
exactly

  
you:  
you liked me..all that time?

minho♡:  
well  
with periodicity?

you:  
what

_"Hey, Minho, this is my friend I told you about," Minho turned around to see a thin teen frame bow to him._

_"Why, why? I'm only two years older. Don't do that," Minho waved his hands as if indicating that such a respectful gesture was too much._

_The boy straightened his posture, and smiled widely, "I'm glad to meet you Minho-ssi!"_

_"Just call me hyung, kid," Minho was taken aback by such formality._

_"Lix is just very polite," Chan giggled, having his arm wrapped around the cute boy. Did Minho think he was cute? This little boy, still attending school? What was Minho even thinking._

minho♡:  
i did get a crush on you when i saw you for the first time  
but you were so young  
i couldn't even think of something like that  
i pushed it away all the time  
but recently it got out of hands  
but you  
YOU literally hated me before we started dating  
and you dare say i'm not serious?

_Minho sighed. First year of college was indeed the hardest like everyone was saying, but he didn't expect studying in it would be so difficult. He didn't get to concentrate the whole month as Felix was always around, distracting Minho to watch something together or play cards with him, and the older just couldn't resist._

_That chubby brown-haired teen had an enormous power over Minho, and he didn't like it at all. He kept rejecting Felix the whole last week. Sometimes Minho even regretted being too brutal, but that was better for both of them. Minho was sure._

you:  
i never hated you  
i was just  
i wanted to be closer to you...  
but you were always so harsh and cold  
sometimes you were warm though  
at those noments i felt like the happiest boy in the world

  
_"Minho-hyung," Felix's low voice pierced through the silence of the room, irritating Minho who was trying to read a philosophy book for the essay._

_"What?" He replied, annoyed, but when he noticed in what state Felix was, Minho frowned, concerned. "What happened?"_

_"I...I don't want to bother Chan-hyung right now. He finally fell asleep, and you know how he is, never getting enough sleep," Felix started to ramble, and Minho noticed that the boy's eyes were a bit puffy and red._

_"Were you crying?" Felix ignored him. "Sit down."_

_The boy did as he was told, so Minho took his arms in his and intertwined their fingers, knowing that physical contact would make Felix feel better. "Tell me what happened."_

_"My mum's not in the city right now. She has work to do, and..." Felix sniffled, lowering his head. "She forgot it was my birthday two days ago, and she called only now. I know it's stupid to cry about it but I just...I just got so upset for some reason."_

_"It's not stupid. It's fine that you feel upset," Minho's features softened, "But I'm pretty sure she was just really busy, and when she returns she'll give you the best present-"_

_"I don't need presents, I need her," a small sob left Felix's mouth, so Minho urged forward to hug the younger tightly, the latter realxing instantly._

_"You have us, don't forget about it."_

you:  
but your mood would change so often   
remember our fight?  
youRE hOt thAn yOurE coLd maKe uP yOur miNd AlrEaDy  
oH aT leAst yOurE stAbLy hysTeriCal

minho♡:  
ahhhhhh that wasn't long before we started dating  
but felix  
i got colder because i didn't want you to approach me

you:  
why???

minho♡:  
because you were too young and i'm not a good person

you:  
i love you anyway????

minho♡:  
your love doesn't make me a good person

you:  
i don't care  
you've done so much for me  
and you're trying so hard for us  
and i'm....too noisy sometimes.. i must admit   
i adore being with you  
i want to overcome all the struggles which appear on our way TOGETHER  
because i love you 

minho♡:  
):  
i love you too  
but i'm so telling you that in between kissing you and sucking on your neck

you:  
MINHO.

minho♡:  
but first of all don't die after the headmaster appointment ~~~~~  
don't make me a widower

you:  
you're unbearable тт.тт

* * *

"So, you smoke," mum stated, several minutes into driving home. She stopped at the traffic light, turning her head to look at Felix.

"I...yeah," he mumbled, lowering his head.

"Don't understand why you did it at school. Couldn't you - I don't know - wait till you come home, or what?" The light turned green and she started driving again. 

Felix glimpsed at her. Mum was completely unbothered, focused on the road. "You're not mad?" Felix asked, his tone careful.

"You want me to?" She replied shortly. Mum probably joked, but Felix was too shoked to understand. 

"Mum! That's not- but...I..," he sighed, "I thought you wouldn't like it."

"Well, I don't," she shrugged, holding onto the steering wheel, "But what can I do about it? You're a grown up person. You know about the harm smoking causes. I don't care as long as you have good grades and don't make girls pregnant."

"Um..." Felix felt awkward and didn't know what to answer to that, "I definitely won't make girls pregnant..."

"Whatever."

"No, mum. It's not just 'whatever'. I'm serious right now," Felix tried to approach her smoothly to talk about his relationship with Minho.

"It's okay if you're not interested in sex right now, which is a bit strange for your age, but still-"

"I'm pretty much interested in sex, but not in girls," Felix blurted out and the silence weighed over them. 

Suddenly, mum rolled up from the main road and parked the car to look at Felix. He turned around and met her uncomprehending gaze. "What did you just say?"

"Mum..."

"Felix..."

"I..." Felix started to regret his life decisions, but then thought that there was no turning back anyway. "I have a boyfriend."

Felix's mother kept staring at him for a few moments, but then started the car silently and hit the road home, none of them saying a single word.

They entered the apartment, still without talking, but Felix couldn't take it anymore, "Gosh, why are silent?

"Did you just notice I am?" Mum chuckled.

"Wh-what? Are you joking when-"

"When will I meet your boyfriend?" She asked in a casual tone, making Felix's jaw drop in disbelief. 

"What...Do you...do you approve of it?"

"Why not?" She smiled. "If you date him then he's not that bad, right?"

"Yeah," Felix was still in daze. "He's very nice, actually." He smiled to himself. 

Felix thought of telling Minho and Chan how his mother accepted him so easily. Thought of how happy they would be.

He also hoped mum would love Minho. He was adorable after all. Well...sometimes, at least. But Felix was sure Minho would be able to make a right impression on her.

'Is that for real?' Felix thought. Was life really getting better? Maybe, but...that was entirely in his hands from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...yeah!!! i finally finished it!!  
> wasn't the ending too abrupt or chaotic?? i hope not...
> 
> and i also hope for the feedback (please leave a comment....) i feel like this work is the best out of 2 i already have, so i rlly want to know what you think of it
> 
> i really wanted to finish this work and to start ulpoading something new, but uni said no <3 you don't have time for it BUT i have many many many drafts, though they are chaotic, BUT i'll try to work on some of them, so if you like my writing wait for it!!!!
> 
> btw while i'm not posting anything, here's my twt @ksinkinsink you can text me at any time of the day if you want to!!!
> 
> thank you for staying with me and reading till the end <3


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